2/26/2005 08:57:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|
Sourced from The Star
It's so hazy out there that I can hardly breath without fearing death...or at least clogged up lungs filled with smog. ~_~ I dreaded taking the dogs out for their morning and evening rounds. Hell, it was hard for me to step out of the house without considering the thick smog outside. Driving down the hill outside my house after convincing myself that being hungry at around 2pm wasn't good for my body and that I needed food (I made some mee hun kueh for brunch), the once visible KL Tower and KLCC had now disappeared behind the thick smog. I couldn't see behind the office block just around the corner from my house. If only I could escape to some other land where the air is cool and fresh...*sighs* .... On the side, I managed to finish one of my lectures - Intro to Digital Media - and discovered that I'll have lots to cover in two hours - am hoping that I'll be able to finish on time. :p To give myself a treat, while I was out buying lunch, I also bought some haircolour. My hair is now a bit purply-red under the sun. Am hoping to take a picture just for fun's sake! ^________^ Will probably spend tomorrow reading up on Media in Asia Week 2 about globalisation and finishing up the lecture for Monday and if I have some time to spare, I might spruce up the presentation for another lecture on Monday as well. Of course there are the usual housechores - Mum's plants are still surviving - and I'll need to mope the floor and see if I have any outstanding laundry to do. .... Nil's on his way to the airport. His parents are going back to France tonight because they have to start work on Monday. Hopefully I'll be able to talk to him when he gets back. I miss him and am trying to make up for what happened last night - even though we chatted after I made my blog entry and he cheered me up well. In the meantime, I suppose I'll just have to wait it out with some movies at 8TV and American Idol. Have a good weekend, folks...and do pray that the haze will clear up. ps: Don't forget to pray for more rain. There was a fifteen minute shower which didn't do much and we really do need more! |W|P|110942326609292565|W|P|Hazy.|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/25/2005 11:27:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Why? Because he kept telling me to go to sleep or to relax. I couldn't take it anymore. So I said goodnite, hung up and promptly burst into what seemed to be a long long torrent of pent-up tears laced with frustration. I think about work ALL the time. It comes with the territory. I'm thinking of research materials and notes for lectures. I'm thinking of how to better admin processes. I'm thinking of how to effectively come with up a less-hassle free timetable. I'm thinking of my soon-to-disappear-weekends-for-two-months burried in training. I'm thinking of backlogged work. In short, work never just stops at the office...I take it home with me - and it is not through choice. To become who I am at work, I had to bring my work back with me. To become where I am now, I had to make sacrifices. I'm stressed out from overdue stuff - lectures that are due in two days which I haven't started on, timetables which are supposed to be out in two weeks which I haven't started on...and why? Because of left-over stuff from the Feb intake and because the previous person in my shoes screwed up big-time with the modular structure. The last thing I need is to hear "Sleep la." Sleep won't solve my problems. I go to sleep and the next morning at 6:30am, I'm up and my problem starts all over again, if not, gets worse. I dream about work for crying outloud OR I'm too tired to dream at all these days. Gym destresses me, releases all my pent-up frustrations and vents. Without it, I get 'sick' internally and tired mentally often. If anything, I need solutions - long term ones - to my problems. You want to help me out? Give me suggestions on better admin processes, on how to cut down on paperwork, on how to get a good timetable with minimal clashes and issues... BUT I don't need to be reminded that no one wanted this position. I don't need to be reminded that I don't need to take work home. I don't need to be reminded that I should go to sleep whenever I feel tired. I don't need to be reminded that I barely have time to talk to my boyfriend... ...and most of all, I don't need to be reminded that I shouldn't expect so much from him and that it seems like I don't appreciate his concern (which I do). I just want some helpful suggestions. I just want to feel rejuvenated again and not mentally ill all the time, y'know. I just want to feel that there is some meaning to what I'm doing. That I'm doing something good and worthwhile.|W|P|110934590287883746|W|P|I hung up on my boyfriend.|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/25/2005 09:07:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|And I'm beginning to hate the fact that I have to have a part II for this stupid title. ~_~ Since starting gym and going through some pretty eratic eating times (sometimes not eating at all), I'm finding that while gym is excellent for keeping me awake and tiring me when I need to be so - my body temperature has been fluctuating. Today, at work, while everyone was relishing the aircon - quite timely so because of the heat outside - I found it too cold. When I step outside, my head throbs annoyingly from the heat. At home, the water is usually cold but after two minutes under the shower, it feels warm - like body temperature. At times, I find myself heating up just as I used to in Australia during winter. It doesn't help that work is going crazy on me. Just as I finished tweaking one timetable, I have to set another one - this time for FOURTEEN subjects and in less than three weeks. *faints* Add that with my eight hours of teaching load, working out kinks in the system and churning out better administrative processes...I'm surprised that I'm not sick yet. My parents went away today to Miri for a week of holidays - they had called when their flight with AirAsia was delayed (what's new?) - and while some think that I should relish the thought of being home alone, I don't actually. Simply because I just have too much on my hands to work with. Gym surpressed whatever 'bad' appetites I have and it stops me from feeling guilty when eating OR overeating. But I had to return home early today to feed the dogs, walk them, water the plants and everything else that required me doing or else it would be awfully late by the time I finished with those chores. Just to give you an idea, I left work at 5:30pm, arrived home like fifteen minutes later and by the time I was done, it was 7pm - about the time I come home from gym. And only then did I take my shower. I had skipped my regular one hour of gym and because of that, ended up wolfing down a regular Super Supreme pizza. About one hour later... The bloody pizza is making me really sick and at times, I find myself wanting to puke all that out. I overate. Huge problem when utterly hungry and skipped gym in the process. Bleh. Nil is busy with his parents - they're back from Bangkok and leaving on Sunday. I hate not being able to talk to him. I hate the fact that I get so busy at work that I barely have time to tell him stuff or chat with him about anything and everything. I hate it that by the time I finish gym and get home, I am so tired out that all I ever want to do is sleep. Hell, I fell asleep on him during our Skype conversation recently. Sometimes I can totally understand why people just want to be with their partners at the end of the day - when they go home. Me? All I ever come home to are my dogs, my parents and sometimes - like now - an empty house filled with shitloads of housechores to do. Speaking of which, I'll have to get up early tomorrow to let the dogs out and make sure they poop, throw the rubbish and if I have time, do some mopping and watering of the plants. Then it's off to work. Shyet. I've been working three Saturdays in a row and come next Saturday, it'll be a month in a row. It's annoying. I feel like not showing up at all. ~_~ Then again, I'm required to be in to help with an exam. AND I really need to work on my lectures which are long overdue (I need one of them on Monday and I haven't even started on the readings). SHYET. SHYET. SHYETTTTTTTTTTTTTTttttttttttttttttttttttt. ...y'know what? I feel sick. ~_~|W|P|110933764236570847|W|P|Feeling under the weather - Part II|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/22/2005 08:19:00 AM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|And I'm part of it. Four lectures - all not related to each other. Media Industries Introduction to Digital Media Creativity, Cultural Studies and Change Media in Asia And I'm having a field day just from listening to the iLectures, reading the stuff, sourcing for materials and doing all the other stuff which lecturers do and perhaps even more. Plus all the other stuff Programme Leaders do. It's gonna be a helluva week for me...so bear with the slowdown in my blog. T_T|W|P|110903272038826248|W|P|School's in!|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/19/2005 07:48:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|...and it is strange considering I treated myself to a couple of DVDs (old titles, of course - excluding Bridget Jones II which somehow made me cry and miss Nil more than I should), sign up for gym membership AND showed up, watched my diet and laundry. Typical Saturday I would say - even though I was doing some mindless counselling at work (will do so again tomorrow but that's another story). I finally got it into my head and pocket to sign up for gym membership to get my lazy bottom off my chair and into some serious exercise mode. Not to mention the fact that the no-exercise had been killing me physically - getting lethargic and bored is not my favourite past-time no matter what other people think. Nil even volunteered to pay for the gym fees, to which I politely declined - even though it was tempting. I didn't want him to think that I was after him for money ONLY. So yes, I signed up for gym yesterday - this nifty little place in Damansara Uptown and while there were some issues - small ones - with parking, everything else fell into place. I went this this afternoon right after work and had a ball of a time with the treadmill, indoor rower, bicycle and weights. Feels like I was in Australia all over again. Kinda bring memories of me taking a two-minute walk to uni gym and going crazily sweaty for two hours; me watching my diet (which went hand-in-hand with gym work) and making those delicious pastas and pita wraps; me losing the weight...for the first time in gawd knows how many years, my waist was a gorgeous 26-inch and I was a size 8. Lets not talk about now though. So I'm planning that with hard work and some motivation - which I KNOW I have - I'll be back to what I was when I first went to Australia - healthy, fit and lean. So, sort of to celebrate - always make it a point to celebrate milestones when it comes to exercising coz it makes one happy - I went out and bought some DVDs...had to get Animatrix for work but they didn't have any in stock. So I settled for older movies and there it was, sitting on the shelf just waiting for me to pluck it and get a copy. Nil had been hankering to watch it ever since we caught Meet The Fockers in Singapore earlier last month and so I took it. Meet The Parents. The only new title in the five (and one free one) was Bridget Jones Diary: Edge of Reason. Now I had read the book already and was hoping that it would be a fun watch. Turned out to be that and more - it made me miss Nil more than ever. For those of you who haven't been following my blog closely - not that I blog about it anyway - Nil comes up to visit during the weekends...except in February. His dad came down from France and thus the last time I got to spend more than just a few hours ALONE was the last week of January. Since then it was either spending time with him AND his dad or just a few hours like the 13th, when he dropped by KL on his way back from Indonesia. He's in Thailand now...and I won't be seeing him until the first week of March. I miss cuddling him. I miss holding his hand. I miss his kisses. I miss his hugs. I miss talking to him. I miss the smell of him. I look at his shirts and I just want to burst out crying - suddenly I hate doing my laundry (not that I loved it to begin with but never mind that...)...and I just miss all of him, y'know? *sighs* I miss him terribly. And it's all Bridget's fault. ~_~|W|P|110881452888889317|W|P|Feeling under the weather...|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/16/2005 11:01:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|I stumbled across this thread while surfing the Net and participated in it quite heatly, I might add. Of course, it was interesting because the ex is also one of the participants in this thread - no guesses for who he could be. Anyway, have a read on the opening of the thread and do discuss amongst yourselves, if not on my blog...
This is something to think about........ In the novel "Paradise Lost".... Milton wrote that the greatest burden that God imposed on man (ie. Adam and Eve), was the burden of choice, and the greatest curse that man brought onto himself, was the curse of knowledge. Knowing and having to choose.... These two, conspire together to make life miserable for man. Eg. The knowledge that things are not as best as can be, or that others are doing better.... having to choose a course of action and knowing later that that course chosen, may not have been the best one..... Is this not the source of want, dispare, dissatisfaction, envy, jealousy... subsequently leading to resentment, anger, hate, revenge, etc ? A rabbit kept in a cage is not unhappy. You feed it and it will be as happy as any other rabbit. That's because it knows nothing, and does not have to choose. It does not even know it has no choice. Sometimes, it makes me wonder..... maybe we should know less,..... and have fewer choices....... There is some truth in the phrases "The forbidden fruit of knowledge", and "The unbearable burden of choice"
My take on this is: 1) This has nothing to do with religion whatsoever. I do know of many philosophers who have debated on this topic for centuries and they were hardly religious. The ones who were came up with very interesting answers. 2) While knowledge has made us the superior species on the planet, it has in many ways lead us to our own downfall and slow destruction. Einstein was even once quote saying that if he knew that his famous discovery (E=mc2) was to be used in nuclear weaponary, he would have settled for becoming a watchmaker. In a way, the author of the post is right by saying that sometimes knowledge isn't all that we make it out to be. That sometimes knowing too much isn't all that great. Think about it for a second. There are some of us out there - and perhaps ALL of us in one point in time - regretted for a split second ever knowing things that we wished we hadn't known. The husband/boyfriend who cheated on you behind your back, the real reason behind how you got that job, etc. THAT is what I mean by "forbidden fruit of knowledge" - sometimes awareness itself can be too much for some to handle. Hence incidents of suicide and even madness... It can even be said that all forms of awareness are knowledge - being aware of new things - like how Einstein became aware of his wrong choice... 3) While choice is the fundamental characteristic of human life, some choices are not really choices at all. The word choice itself is based on options available, thus limiting the real meaning of 'choice' - for some, these options may be unnecessary and thus, 'optional'. But for others, all the choices available on their plate affects them in a big manner one way or the other - no matter how they choose. Thus is to say, choice becomes unbearable. Yes, men can be strong but we cannot deny who we are inherently in our path to becoming more than what we are. I never implied or suggested that we humans should shy from choosing itself. I merely highlighted what the truth is in "unbearable burden of choice". Do not forget that part of who you are comes from your heritage, your past, your awareness of the history and background of yourself as an individual and part of a society. It is sad but the real truth is such. 4) Thus, awareness comes in. If one is not aware of such weaknesses, one cannot move on. When one becomes aware of it, one decides - gladly if not painfully. Then such choice will indefinitely bring about new opportunities leading to more awareness. It is a constant cycle. Humans have one edge over animals and that is our awareness. It is what makes us human. With that knowledge, comes the choice. They run hand in hand. Now having said that, humanity is made up of pros and cons. It is the negative that often brings about the positive in life - as how Aquinas related good to evil, light to dark. 5) It is impossible for mankind to be just ONE and not both. Man will always be weak AND strong when it comes to living and deciding. Those who choose to be strong are aware of themselves and their choices. Those who choose to remain as they are lack such awareness and thus are ignorant of themselves. If we are merely strong, how will we know what is weak? Aren't we then ignorant and lack knowledge itself? I'll see if it's possible for me to update this as the thread on the other side develops further - no doubt, I might be looking to getting misunderstood and shelled for my opinions, but it's okay. We're all learning. ^_~|W|P|110856660760356044|W|P|Forbidden fruit of knowledge and unbearable burden of choice...|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/14/2005 10:05:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|

I am going to turn twenty-six this year. Another year looming ahead...and the strangest thing is this: I am very very truly satisfied with my life. I don't know if it's just me - I don't think it is though - to be at this age and utterly content with what I have, who I have become and of the things that I have obtained in this life. I look at other people around me, some struggling, some still wishing, others still busy trying to reach where I am...and I wonder to myself. Am I normal? Lets examine the evidence... I am in good health - even though I'm prone to a mild form of annoying migraines and the ocassional period cramps. I have been so since my corrective heart surgery and the last time I came down with anything other than a migraine like a flu was nearly two years ago. I have wonderful friends and family - who are constantly supportive and behind me all the way. My friends are busy but it's nice to know that whenever the phone rings and it's them, it just feels like yesterday...when our days were less filled with worries or cares of the working world...when we had each other, sipping coffee and sharing talks of studies, and ourselves. I have a good job, which I'm totally in love with. While it keeps me busy and fed (even though it isn't as well as we all hoped it would be - still life isn't perfect), it is what I have been born to do. I once thought that the perfect job would be one that you would love to do...but after working as a lecturer for nearly 1.5 years now, I realized that it is a job that one is born into - a job that requires the right attitude, skill and character. Not many people understand it as such... And with the promotion now, I find that my career is slowly stabilizing itself. I'm climbing up the ladder and confidently such as well. Was told recently that Murdoch University recognizes me as an excellant partner and even made great recommendations for me to teach...how can my job not be great? And even after the job opportunity I undertook in Singapore...

My partner is a great man with a good and gentle soul. He makes me laugh...he makes me happy...and he loves me. It is sometimes hard to believe that after years of being in terrible relationships, it took a less than eager me to find a good man. The thought of it makes me cry sometimes - cry with fear of the knowledge that all could be like it was before - dark, painful and cold - yet when I'm his arms, it feels as if nothing can hurt me ever again...and even if it did, there was a silver lining to it. Yes, through him, I learnt to hope again. So what is there left for someone like myself?
A bungalow? A nice posh car? Jewellery? Oddly enough, I never wanted all those things to begin with...for life is more than just an empty house, a fancy car or cold pieces of glittering stones - no matter how beautiful they are. The bare essentials are already complete for me. What more could I ask for? If I were to rub a magic lamp, to have a genie pop in front of me and asked me what I wanted more, I would be stumped. Lost for words.
Because frankly, life is sweet for me right now. All I have is all that I have ever wanted and I live each day, feeling more grateful and blessed than before. So tell me: am I weird? ps: HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
|W|P|110839008859644704|W|P|Satisfaction.|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/11/2005 07:49:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Apart from being laden with angpaus this year...I decided to give myself a good treat - just to make up for my initial lack of enthusiasm in the beginning of CNY. So off I went to IKEA...and also to my cousin's phone shop - actually, I just gave him in a call... In the end, I ended up with new quilt covers and pillowcases, a rather nice compact mobile phone, a little thingy to hold up notices on my table at work, and a scented candle.
My angpau money this year will be going to a new bank account, one made specially for just deposting money and not withdrawing - am planning to go into the full swing of saving some hard-core cash. My old phone will be sold off to Nil for SG150 (the price includes the phone, headset, manual, a couple of smooches and cookies!).
Earlier this year, I had ventured into a few places to get some cheap clothes - including underwear - and thus spent a good portion of the afternoon, busying myself with laundry, my new sheets and of course the garden. Mum has decided to put me in charge of her nice fat plants. *kekeke* Anyway, I thought I'd just share this with you guys. ^_~|W|P|110812296238967539|W|P|Chinese New Year goodies!|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/08/2005 10:44:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|...And may it bring you good luck, fortune, health, prosperity and success in all that you do...
|W|P|110787401880741556|W|P|The year of the Rooster is upon us...|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/07/2005 11:40:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|It was one of those spur of the moment things - y'know...driven by that insane, yet quiet voice which goes "Buy MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! He'll like MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!". ~_~ So I succumbed to it, almost willingly I might add...beaming away as I made my purchase, smiling to myself as I wrapped it...and finally, my heart busy fluttering away as I found the perfect card - remnants of another one of those spur of the moment buys when I was in Australia. Incidently, they make great cards there. :p So much for not buying anything for him. Although it was a spur-of-the-moment thing, I decided to make it a V-Day gift - even though me and him aren't into it. Nil has no idea that I've gotten him something. Couple that with the fact that he's in Indonesia - somewhere in the mountains of Surabaya with his father. He assumes that the beaded bracelet and brownies I gave him when I went down to Singapore for my second interview were his V-Day gifts earlier. I didn't want to make him feel all weird by saying that it was just a spur of the moment thing...so I lied and said it was for V-Day. I'm weird. I like surprising my partner with stuff but am afraid that my partner will feel all weirded out when I do things like that. Hm. Honestly, V-Day is just one of those things I never could understand or appreciate. I don't eat chocolates and while I adore fragrant Lincoln roses (which are very hard to find here), I just can't somehow bring myself to get Nil to buy me something that will die within days. Sure, I like to tease him about what he intends to surprise me with...but it ends there. I somehow can never put out my hand and go "Where is my present?" in all that serious tone/manner. V-Day, for me, is just another day.
Every day is and SHOULD be a Valentine's Day. Yet...I don't even know why I'm excited about this. Maybe it's because I get excited whenever I get my partner something I know he'll appreciate or like... Is it weird or just me? Sometimes I think I'm a cheapo person when it comes to gifts - even surprise ones. I can't stand getting frivolous items like soft toys, neither can I stand getting extremely expensive gifts which I know will just go unused because of its worth...yet I want something unique, special and different. Pens, perfumes, watches, flowers, shirts...so typical...so...generic...unless of course the person in question needs a good set of boxers or something - or if those boxers look really cute! ^_~ Hence when I saw Nil's gift, I instantly knew I had to get it for him. Never mind the fact that V-Day is just around the corner...I just wanted him to have it...even on a normal day. Anyway, I have yet to figure out what to write on the card and I so botched up the inside as well with my out-of-practice handwriting and sudden stump for words. Gack. Was thinking of a nice spot of poetry but I'm having difficulty looking for the right words, the right tone, the right everything...probably figured it out tomorrow... Trust the romantic in me to make life utterly difficult for myself. ps: Gah. Xanga.com is now finally working. Great...when I'm sleepy. Never mind. I'll put up a separate post on this later. Will kick you guys the link when I'm done! ^_^ |W|P|110779248760185824|W|P|Another one of those strange posts...|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/05/2005 09:58:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Recently (when I embarassingly lost my passport - read about it here), I created another blog entitled "Letters From The Heart" and it is dedicated to the man I am in love with now. I don't know if people have dropped by to read it, but what matters is that on a regular basis, Nil reads it and gets little reminders about how he has changed my life...and that I love him very much. Since Valentine's Day is starting to loom nearer...I decided to share a little something with you regular folks here...
Cheri... Do you know that I miss you? It has not even been a full day since the minute we parted at the bus station...as I watched your blue-covered form smiling back at me, waving, and then walking away...it seemed like forever in those few minutes... Suddenly being away from you suddenly heightens all my senses...or at least three of them. My sense of touch...while folding your clothes, as I run my fingers over your boxers, your shirts, I remember how they felt rubbing against my skin, the warmth beneath them, the feel of you, the knowledge that my man feels comfortable wearing the things he like... My sense of sight...seeing the bright patterns and colours brings gentle memories of you just being in them. Your soft smile, the glow on your face and the sparkle in your eyes. Suddenly it is as if you are before me again, holding my hand, caressing me with your gaze... My sense of smell...just of you...the smell of you filling my nostrils as I keep your clothes away in that little box. The pillows that bear your scent, the sheets...they all beckon and make me just want to wrap all of myself in them, just as how I remember you wrapping your arms around me a few mornings ago. I love the way you wrap your arms around me, the way you smell every morning - a little hint of soap and just you...all of you... I know I'm not suppose to cry...but honestly, I can't really help myself. I worry for you yet I want you to enjoy yourself. I know the future is unpredictable yet I wish for your safe return into my arms. You know something? I nearly went frantic when I couldn't find the French for Dummies book you gave me when we first met. And when I found it, I remember clutching it close to me and sighing with relief. I started tearing as I wrote this...I remember hoping and wishing for your phone call only to be reminded that you lost your phone. No matter, I tell myself, I'll get you a nifty one and make sure you don't lose it again in my own little way. And then I wonder...just to distract myself from the pangs of missing you... Valentine's is coming up soon and frankly, while every day should be a Valentine's Day...I still want to give you something special. So, what should I get you for Valentine's Day? Should I give the phone to you as a gift? Or should I disregard that because I already passed you your gift - a beaded bracelet to make up for the ever-loose one that I gave you in the beginning of our relationship? Or should I get you one of those cards? Then I remember... I'll probably settle for the best hug, best kiss, best cuddle, best petit dejeuner (sp?), best date, best dinner...whichever were to come first. There is more, though. Your gift - this Valentine's Day, cheri - is more than all those things...is perhaps the best I could ever come up with that money can never ever buy. This Valentine's Day, I give you my heart...my love...all of me. Je t'aime, cheri. ps: Please come home soon...
I think I've said enough for tonight...|W|P|110761224457569616|W|P|Do you know...|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/03/2005 09:52:00 AM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|It is certified. I have already become a Sex And The City fan, if not a bit too late. Yesterday, I spent a good amount of three hours, watching nearly six episodes back to back. Nil had downloaded the first four seasons of SATC and passed over Season 2-4 to me during his earlier visits. Adultery was the theme of my viewing last night and it spanned across nearly four episodes, beginning with how Carrie started cheating with Mr Big on his wife and Aidan, Carrie's perfect boyfriend. No one knew about it, except for Miranda - and that was just the morning of the big ka-boom. The big ka-boom being Charlotte, bride-to-be, bumping into Carrie and Big as they were leaving a hotel. It doesn't take much to figure out what was going on. But here was their following conversation (extracted from this funky website):
CARRIE We've always had this "thing" together. And when that thing shows up it's -- everything else goes out the window. You know? CHARLOTTE No, I don't know. He's married. That makes you the "other woman." Carrie, you're the other woman. CARRIE Charlotte, come on, I feel bad enough. CHARLOTTE Good. you should feel bad. Do you ever think about how she'd feel if she found out? CARRIE I think about it all the time. CHARLOTTE No, you don't. You think about what would happen to you if she found out. You don't think about her. She's just a joke to you... "The idiot wife." You don't know anything about her. She's a real person with real feelings. CARRIE Okay, in a minute, I'm going to suffocate myself in this bubble wrap. CHARLOTTE This isn't a joke, Carrie. They made vows. Vows he broke. I'm getting married in three weeks... How would you feel if someone did this to me? CARRIE I would kill them. CHARLOTTE How could you do this? I mean, you're my Maid of Honor. CARRIE I'm getting out of it. I am.(beat)Can I please help you pack?
On another side of the Internet universe (geez, I'm beginning to sound like Carrie as she ruminates on her column), I have been busy in a heated discussion about affairs with a good amount of anti-affair and pro-affair proponents. Incidently, my ex and his girl best friend (yes, that one - lets call her 'J' for future purposes in this blog...for a brief history on J...well...maybe I'll write about that another day) are bordering to the pro-affair proponents with the excuse that "love is all that matters in a relationship" and "if two people are happy, who is to say it is wrong?". "If two people are happy, who is to say it is wrong?" But an affair is never about two people ALONE unlike a monogamous relationship. An affair involves three people, sometimes even more - when the couple involved has children. For us to think that an affair is about two people alone is so wrong...so very wrong. Or is it simply okay? Why do women have affairs? Why do they seek happiness with married men? Men who took vows to be with another woman - their wives - for the rest of their lives. If the same were to happen to our brothers, sisters, best friends, daughters...would our 'okays' with regards to affairs still be the same? People who are close to me would know this: I do not condone cheating. I abhor adultery and the very idea of going against the sanctity of marriage. Honour is an important thing to me and honour includes how I undertake promises and vows. I take them very seriously...especially with regards to marriage because like it or not, marriage is about the union of two people (not just me) and ultimately, two families. The very idea of breaking them just means dishonour to me. It is also because I have seen enough in my family, in my life to ever say that it is okay if the cheater and the third party are happy, that it's okay to break marriage vows... It is more than just that. I watched how an affair torn my uncle's family apart, how his little children suffer and grew to hate him and bear bitterness towards their own father. I saw how an affair turned a respectable man into one who in death still had to witness the possibility of a feud between his wife and mistress at his funeral, how my cousins - after twenty odd years - still displayed hatred towards his mistress... "Love is all that matters in a relationship..." Well, if we truly loved that person, why and how could we care to submit them to such things? I wonder how could my dead uncle - assuming that he loved her and cared for her - bear to see his own children have nothing but contempt for his mistress? Watch as the public scorned her for being the other woman...the marriage-breaker...the husband stealer. Is this what we want to give our loved ones? Happiness or no happiness, I just can't stand it. I have been on both sides of the coin - I have been the other women twice (once by choice and the other by accident - the reason behind me moving to a new blog, the non-existent wife found my old blog and destroyed it and gave me hell...I promised her as a sign of good faith never to contact her hubby again - to which we both agreed that the bastard lied to us - I still talk to her once in a blue moon) and in both, I got out as fast as I could; I laid the ultimatum to myself - honour or love. In the end, I chose to drop the relationship(s), simply because while I bored them some affection, it was not enough. It would never be enough. Love was not enough to sooth the guilt I bore to the other person in the picture, the one whom I never see - the wife or the girlfriend. Love was not enough to salvage dishonour on my part. Love was not enough to right broken promises. Love is simply never enough in a relationship, even though it is important and what we seek most of the time. I am a woman who in the near future would like to get married to a good man. I seek loyalty, faithfulness, devotion and affection from my future partner. Even though I am a Christian, I believe in the law of karma. What goes around comes around. I keep asking myself... What if it were to happen to me when I get married? What if I were to discover today that my father has been cheating on my mother all this while? What if it were to happen to my best friend? Having said that, my dislike for affairs doesn't mean other people out there have to think like me. Should my best friend one day decides to go out with a married man or a man in a serious permenant relationship (unlike her though), I'd still be supportive - after giving her a piece of my mind though...the way Charlotte did to Carrie. Her words still ring in my head... How would you feel if someone did this to me? |W|P|110739878995951125|W|P|Is it okay?|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com2/01/2005 11:18:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|FINALLY! A reply came in (and late too - my email was sent on the 11th of Jan)...but for those of you who hoped that this would be from the big man himself, nah...it wasn't. It came from a Cynthia Anniah and here is what she has to say:
Dear Mabel Teoh.. Greetings from AirAsia and we apologise for the delay in response.First and foremost, thank you very much Mabel, for taking the time to convey your feedback. We would like to take this oppurtunity to apologise for the unpleasant experiences you had with us for the 3 flights that you have higlighted in your mail with regards to the long delays encountered and the management of the such delays.. Just like to share the following with you.. Delays are sometimes inevitable as planes do get sick occasionally and whilst other airlines would most probably still proceed to fly with small defects we hold true to our high safety standard for the benefits of our guests. We will ground the plane and ensure that even the slightest defects are rectified before releasing the planes off the ground. The affected flight will be rescheduled taking into consideration the time needed for repair or a switch to the next available aircraft. As a relatively new start up which solely depends on our own resources, we do not have the luxury as yet as other low fare carriers of the benefit of spares aircraft lying on ground nor do we have the luxury of full financial backings from Governments or sister airlines with whom we could transfer passengers to eg. Nok Air-Thai Airways or Tiger Airways-SIA/Silk Air. However please rest assured that this is being addressed as we are anticipating delivery of another 6 aircraft in the next two months which will increase our capacity to meet such inevitable. The delivery of our newly acquired Airbus A320 will also help to provide the capacity to meet any eventuality. There have been many reports to discredit AirAsia but our main priority is to ensure that we take each criticism constructively and continue to work on improving our service and quality; maintain our low costs structure without compromising on our guests' safety to enable us to offer more low fares and more opportunities for Malaysians to fly. For your information a big part of our guests are first time flyers who had never flown before. We also very concern with other issues raised in your email such as poor announcements and control of boarding. We have taken these matter seriously and have brought it forward to our the head of Ground Services Department, Cabin Crew Department and also Training Department so that they may review how we can improve on these shortfalls. Last but not least, thank you for sharing your feedback as it will certainly assist us in our continous learning process.. With our newly listing on the KLSE, the availability of more resources,support of the people and feedback from guests who care to share their experiances - we can only get better.. With sincere apology, Cynthia for AirAsia Team AIRASIA BERHAD Lot N1, Level 4 Main Terminal Building KL International Airport 64000 SEPANG Selangor Darul Ehsan Malaysia
I won't comment on it for now - since I have had an extremely long day settling the BA timetables and what-not. So I'll leave it for your rumination. Hm. Maybe I'll even come back for a quick note/jotting on this matter. Bonne nuit, folks! ps: For context, please read this.|W|P|110727130002728720|W|P|Now everyone can fly... - Part II|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com