In cases like this one, where there are serious questions and substantial doubts, our society, our laws, and our courts should have a presumption in favor of life.

3/22/2005 09:01:00 PM|W|P| thquah|W|P|yes this is complicated.If one's is in the vegitative state then I feel is ok to ends one's life.( I would write out my will that way) It is more suffering for everyone to endure each and everyday looking at the love one's who is suffering and can't do anything to help.3/22/2005 09:02:00 PM|W|P| thquah|W|P|This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.3/23/2005 07:45:00 AM|W|P| Anonymous|W|P|My husband and I have made living wills even then I'm a little scared.. what if they decide to pull the plug and I cant move to say " hey hold it buster..I can still hear"
Hubby ( medical field)assures me that they would always check and double check with their machines..
Not sure if you'vre read Roald Dahl's short stories..similar scenario3/23/2005 06:05:00 PM|W|P| 5xmom.com|W|P|If I am in that position, I will choose death. But if I am able to choose, then I would have committed a sin. But if I can't, then it is great that someone actually love me enough to know my choice and do it on my behalf. So, isn't it a good thing? Mei, I had seen many blogs about this issue but only yours prompted me to give my views.

Previously, I was in the same position too. I told my Vincent's doc that if I have a choice, I would choose to release Vincent off his earthly sufferings. He was on life support for two months. Well, maybe I should blog this too?

Cheers and take care! Your blogs are rather slow in coming, missed them.3/23/2005 06:41:00 PM|W|P| Mabel|W|P|Thquah: Hm...good idea on the will but when you're like me with no property, what to give people la? My collection of SATC DVDs? ;)

Romantic: Which of Roald Dahl's books??? ^_^

Silencer: But how can we be sure of the future???

5xmom: You should...would give us all an insight into other people's life and life's lessons.

Btw, I do apologize to all for the lack of blog entries. Work has made it difficult to blog because I just get so dead tired by the time I reach home that whatever interested me has long oozed out of my brain. =.=3/25/2005 01:26:00 AM|W|P| Anonymous|W|P|Roald Dahl's short stories..its been a long time but the gist is this:a suspicious husband told his long suffering wife that he wnated his head preserved so he can watch and tell his wife what to do when hes gone ( sone scientific thingy) When he died, all his wife could afford was just his brain and one eye..His wife started going out now shes liberated from him and all he could do is watch amd fume.3/25/2005 04:52:00 PM|W|P| Ivy|W|P|If the US was seriously a democracy as it always claims to be how come people can't be pro-euthanasia. Ah well, too bad she wasn't hospitalized in Amsterdam. Euthanasia is legal. :)

Of course, on the other hand, if euthanasia was made legal it can be heavily abused. Let's imaging if Bill Gates was ill, predicted to die but there's a 35% he might survive. His son-in-law is extremely impatient for the fortune. So, he tells the doctor to pull the plug. What happens if the 35% actually prevailed? Would the doctor be charged for Bill's death? Is it then murder?

My stance? Let God decide. If she is to die, she will die. If she was not, she'll be revived in another 15 years maybe? Things happen because of karma. :)3/27/2005 03:45:00 PM|W|P| WY|W|P|the roald dahl's story of concern is called william and mary, from his first short story book. just read it recently.3/28/2005 01:12:00 AM|W|P| Anonymous|W|P|I guess this will always be a subject of concern. As for karma or destiny...when do we draw the line??? Do we tell the Drs do not even medicate because everything is predestined??3/15/2005 09:30:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|DISCLAIMER: This is in no way an attack on the gym as an institution - just ONE of the trainers there - who has since left me alone to go about my business at the gym. Other than that, the place has been a gem to workout in. ^_^ Since I had missed gym yesterday, I thought I'd make up for it by visiting the gym today. You know...to do the whole destressing thing. I didn't sign up for gym for the sole reason of losing weight; I signed up with the foresight that gym helps me to burn some stress away too - whilst I'm lifting weights or pounding away on the treadmill/bike. So I happily had packed my bag yesterday with my gym shoes, clothes and an old sarong that belongs to my mother - wanted to try out the sauna and relax away under the wonderful mist of warm steam. I was planning to hit the gym right after my last class at 5pm but due to some circumstances at work - ad-hoc meetings to discuss timetables (which have to be finalized this Friday) and handbooks (also this Friday) as well as other operational matters - I ended up only leaving at 7pm. No matter - I can exercise till 8pm, sit in the sauna for a bit and go home, shower, rest and spend some time talking to Nil. So, I parked my car, headed up to FF in Damansara Uptown, swiped myself in, got settled, changed and off I was headed towards the treadmill. I was just two minutes into my usual routine (Speed=5.5 to 6.0, Gradient=9.0, Time=30 mins) when He came. Now, He is my so-called personal trainer which was frankly unwanted. When I signed up for gym, I had explicitly mentioned that I DO NOT want a personal trainer; that I like doing my routine ALONE and more importantly, I don't like to be hassled into anything. Now the deal is this... About two weeks earlier, He had called - I was in class and as per more professionals, we don't carry our mobiles around during lectures or tutorials. When I came back after four hours of back-to-back lectures, I had 12 missed calls...all of them from one person. I got home that day and my parents informed me that a certain someone by the name of *blip* had been calling non-stop. He called again - while I was in class - about six times and left messages. The final time he called, I was there to pick up the call and here was how the conversation went: Him: I'm *blip* from FF in Damansara. I was wondering if you'd like to make an appointment for a personal training session with me because I see from your profile here that you're interested in blah, blah, blah (I was losing him here because I was busy with work) Me: Oh. Thanks for calling but no thanks. I don't need a personal trainer. Him: May I ask why? It's a complimentary session and blah, blah, blah. Me: I know it's a complimentary session but really, no thank you. I'm busy and I don't think I'll be able to make an appointment anytime soon. Him: How about next week? (*hits her head on the table*) By then, I had realized that there was no way in hell He was going to take "no" for an answer. I made an appointment, postponed it to the weekend where I went with Nil and when the day came, I went for it - thinking that I might get something out of it AND that He would leave me alone. It was 9am and He immediately put me on the bike, asking me to do an effort level of 3 and at 70-80 rpm for 20 minutes. No warm-ups, no slowly easing me into the routine, no nothing...not even taking my weight. By the tenth minute, I was dying. My muscles were aching really badly - I can't even describe it (it felt sore, and tingly, painful to touch) and all He could muster was a "what's wrong with you" in the most condescending of manners. He then put me on weights - 50kg squat which nearly killed my knees, 20kg leg curls for my hamstrings (he made me do one leg at a time), 7.5 lbs for arm lifts, 20kg for my pectorals, and about another three different combinations of weights. And throughout the entire time, I was already breaking out into cold sweat and feeling utterly dizzy. I told him to stop and he goes "But we aren't even reaching your limit. Do it." WHAT THE HELL. After the entire session was over, He ran through the money issues with me and that was when this happened: Him: It's only RM2000 plus for this much of sessions... (I can't remember the details, except for the fact that it was really expensive and out of my budget) Me: Well, I still need to think about it. It is a lot of money, y'know. Him: Look here...which is more important? Your health or your money? Me: I just can't decide on a whim like this. I need to go back and re-evaluate my financial position. When I do come to a decision, I'll let you know. Him: Are you sure? Because many people tell me that and they never come back to me. I was so ready to shot myself in the brains after that. He finally relented and I rushed back to Nil. I sat on the bicycle and slow pedalled - just to relax my muscles a bit - to which He went "I thought you said you were tired." =.= Five minutes later (after he went away), I started seeing stars and I was coughing and feeling pukey really badly. Nil made me sit at the table, told me to rest a bit before we go home and as he sipped his tea (I refused any drinks because I just felt really bad), told me not to see this guy anymore because 1) he overworked me to the point where I felt like collapsing, 2) there was no warm-up so my body went totally haywired and 3) it wasn't the right way to exercise. So I continued to go to the gym, and had managed to avoid this guy until today. He approached me in my second minute into my regular routine... Him: Hello. Me: Hi. Him: You still have a free second session with me, y'know. Me: Yes. Him: Would you like to do it now? Me: No thanks. I'm here to relax. Like to do my own stuff now. Him: Come on. Might as well take it. I'm quite free actually. All my clients cancelled on me. (I wonder why.) Me: Seriously, no thanks. I had a long day at work and I'm here to destress. Why don't you relax? Him: Can't. Boss will fire me if he sees me relaxing. Besides, what's so stressful about work? You're a lecturer. (I gave him this weird look that goes "and what do you know about my job?") So okay? We'll start on something light. And he proceeds to punch the buttons on the treadmill, thus leaving me with no other option but to agree...begrungingly, I might add. He hikes up the gradient to 12.5, varies the speed from 6.0 to 9.0. Bear this in mind: I increase my 'resistance' gradually and because I haven't been to the gym in a while, it takes quite some time for me to build up my gradient and speed PLUS stamina to the right levels. At the moment, my max gradient is 9 and my speed hovers from 6 to 6.5 and I don't jog. It hurts my boobs and I wasn't dressed appropriately for it - regular bras don't give jiggling boobs much support, y'know. He sees my laboured breathing and continues to hike up the speed even though I tell him to lower it. He has the cheek to tell me "I don't think you're at your limit" and even when I tell him to slow it down - "can you lower it?", he increases everything. My muscles were screaming, my throat was drying up and I certainly wasn't destressing or felt as if I was starting off slow. Finally, in the 8th minute, I stopped and I just stared angrily at him. It was a bomb waiting to explode. I was here to destress and relax from a long day at work. What I didn't need was aggravation and being bothered by someone who couldn't take a hint for him to go hike off. (in very low firm voice because there were two other people beside me) Me: I am not doing this. I had enough. No more. Him: But I'm not even taxing you out- Me: That is not the point. I had a very long day at work, I'm here to destress and I don't need this kind of aggravation to my body and my brains. I like to do my own thing and frankly I don't want to do this anymore. Him: You could have told me earlier. Me: I did. Him: You didn't. Me: YES, I did earlier. Twice. You weren't listening. To which he grudgingly mumbled an apology and walked off. And the longer I stayed on the treadmill, the more angry I got. I was being polite when I told Him "no thank you" the first time. I don't want to be crude and tell Him to go away or ignore Him. I expected a professional like him in this business to be able to handle rejection as calmly and civilly, not to mention with finesse, when it hits Him. I didn't want to reach to the point where I have to point out His faults in public in front of other gym-goers who could be His future clients. More importantly, I didn't want to be doing things that my body isn't ready for. I had that taste in the first session He gave me - I felt so sick...for a few hours...and my body hurt like hell for two days. Exercise for me is not about pain but about fulfillment, enjoyment. I don't want to have to see the gym or think of exercise as something horrendous or gruelling. It's part of the psyche that I have developed in order to help me feel motivated to go to the gym on a daily basis - now and then. That's why I never got a trainer in my previous gym in Australia, that's why I went to the gym every day because there was no one to bug me and because I enjoyed exercising. Now what pissed me off while I was in the gym - I left ten minutes later (no exercise, no sauna and no destressing) - telling myself that the last thing I wanted to do was blow up in a public place and be so disgusted with the gym that it cuts into my fitness routine - was this: When a customer says 'no thank you' it means they don't want whatever you're offering but they are civil and polite about it to save your face as well as theirs. It doesn't mean you have the god-given right to shove whatever it is you're offering to them and force them to take it when they don't want to. I did sales. I did retail. When someone says 'no thank you' to you, you smile, wish them a good day and walk away. You leave them alone to do their own thing. If they need you, they'll look for you. If not, you concentrate on other people. You do not, in whatsoever circumstances, even if you were desperate to meet your sale quota do the following: 1) Plead and beg. 2) Pin the fault on the customer if she/he changes their mind halfway. 3) Attempt to extract sympathy in hopes to get them to buy your products/services. 4) Assume you know anything about your customer. 5) Decide for the customer. Because when you do all those things, you make a total ass out of yourself and you give other people in the same field a very very bad name. Think about it the next time someone says 'no thank you' to you. Will you back away willingly or annoyed them so much that the next few words uttered from their mouths reeks of nothing but anger and irritation? |W|P|111089760175663725|W|P|When 'no thank you' means NO!|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com3/16/2005 03:42:00 AM|W|P| MooPig|W|P|Very unprofessional trainer. He's just like the telemarketers who call me up SO often. I get 2 calls a day sometimes. I used to entertain them but now I don't. I don't hang up on them but I tell them: She's on a business trip and will be back 2 months later; there's no such person; she's out for meeting, so on and so forth.3/16/2005 05:31:00 AM|W|P| Cupcake Queen|W|P|That's sheer harassment. I'd completely ignore the bastard and not make eye contact and plug my ears in headphones while in the gym. And complain to the management for his unprofessional work ethics.3/16/2005 08:24:00 AM|W|P| Mabel|W|P|Eileen: Good idea on that one. But you know what? People in Marketing and Sales should know when to back off and when to put on the moves.

Cupcake Q: I was so tempted last night to walk up to the manager (if he was in) and rant about it. I decided to write a letter instead.3/16/2005 08:28:00 AM|W|P| Anonymous|W|P|yikes! what an asshole! If I were you I would definitely yell at him for being such a big jerk!3/16/2005 09:22:00 AM|W|P| Mumsgather|W|P|Aaarrghh! Buzzz off!! The trainer lah, not you Mei. Damn annoying. I'm not sure if the letter would help much though. Maybe its the gym policy which made him behave the way he did. Perhaps you ought to change gyms altogether.3/16/2005 09:51:00 AM|W|P| Mabel|W|P|Mums: Tak boleh. 1 year contract. I don't want to change gyms just because of him alone - macam takut dia, that sort of thing, y'know. I'll continue going - maybe that might piss him off. ^_^3/16/2005 08:32:00 PM|W|P| thquah|W|P|If he still kay po report to the gym management or better still report him for harressment. Just thinking out loud.3/16/2005 10:54:00 PM|W|P| mystic|W|P|Mei: FF's personal trainer is like that. Last time I also kena until I threaten to report him for harassment.3/16/2005 11:22:00 PM|W|P| Mabel|W|P|Well, I went to the gym today and he ran off to the other direction upon seeing me enter. :lol:3/17/2005 01:10:00 PM|W|P| Sleekblackmercedes|W|P|Yup, couldn't agree more... Fitness First trainers are half-baked and they just wanna make the client feel inferior so that they can sell their personal training. They themselves can't even lift as heavy or run as fast as the 'settings' on the machine they give to you or me...

Cheers! Hope you have recovered. :)3/21/2005 04:44:00 PM|W|P| WY|W|P|hi mei. you should have just told him off.

the personal trainer that i had over here is so much more professional. not only that they plan and actually work out the proper regime that is suitabel for me, they alway smake sure i dun overwork myself, otherwise it will defeat the purpose of exercising anyway.

hope he dun bug u again.3/21/2005 09:57:00 PM|W|P| Mabel|W|P|Hustler: Well, I recovered from the stress at gym but not from work. O'horror!

Tom: I should have huh? Still too soft. =.=3/26/2005 02:53:00 AM|W|P| Anonymous|W|P|lol that is indeed your "typical" salesman back at home... frankly I'm not surprised by his behavior, I mean you try to be nice to these people and they "take" advantage of your politeness...it's at this point where you just have to tell them to shove it up their - blip- I guess it's very different over here in Canada (or any other place for that matter)... people tend to respect your decision and your answer...

The points you mentioned about what a salesperson NOT do (like begging etc..) is very true and I just wish these malaysian salesmen have some diginity and integrity when they do their job... but i guess sometimes that these guys also get alot of pressure from their sales manager and they are "forced" to behave like that... i remember working in sales and I too had to meet some quota selling stuff and my managers would get pissed of with me whenever I accept the "no-i'm-not-interested" answer from prosepctive customers. They'll tell me I'm not pushing them enough...oh well fuck that I'm not gonna lower my integrity just to make a couple of bucks...

anyway enough of my rambling... it was certainly an enjoyable read scarfer... you really have a natural talent to write well :) keep it up!!3/27/2005 09:09:00 PM|W|P| Kimberly Low|W|P|sorry to hear about your experience. if i were you, i would have been enraged and made a brouhaha out of it. funny i joined the gym twice, so altogether i have 6 complimentary personal trainning; never got a single call. maybe cause i 'm a student?3/28/2005 12:23:00 PM|W|P| ryuu|W|P|try reading laughable loves by milan kundera. in one of the stories, it shows how a person refuse to be rude to another, and end up getting lots of problem. everything would be solved if he had be firm earlier and tell him straight to the other person what he thinks.

like, no, thank you, go away, you're not need, take your filthy hands off my machine.

just a thought :)4/10/2005 04:09:00 PM|W|P| Anonymous|W|P|Heh, I had a different experience with the trainer - seem really disconnected, condenscending and all-around uninterested. Of course, when I joined FF, I already knew weigh-training.

Didn't weigh me, or didn't ask me any questions. It just seems he wanted to get it done with. I only had one session with him, he thankfully never called me. Perhaps things would be different if I was female... haha.

But next time, if you find yourself in this situation, just say, "I know how to exercise, I'm roughly happy with my body, I know what I'm doing, I'm here to destress, I don't need your help". And stress that you don't have the finance to do personal training, don't say you would consider.8/26/2005 10:45:00 AM|W|P| Mun|W|P|Do drop by at my blog site to read about my experience with Fitness First.

http://xfile007.blogspot.com/2005/08/do-you-have-problem-fitness-first.html3/15/2005 02:14:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|I have taken the liberty of changing the comments style/page - to reflect changes in the nature of my blog as well as my life. Less time to keep an eye out for this journal of mine (getting busy and what-not) and my blog has somehow morphed into something more private and rant-filled. Apologies for the people who have left comments on Haloscan - it's still there - but do feel free to leave some form of feedback using Blogger's new comment system. Thankies.|W|P|111086759385643879|W|P|New comments system!|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com3/14/2005 10:08:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Work has become even more stressful and my short weekend break totally did not work. I ended up bursting out into tears in a nearby carpark as I ranted and raved to Nil about our upcoming travel plans. I suppose this is one reason why I just absolutely hate planning for travel. If I'm not in the mood, if I'm too busy with other things, just don't piss me off with stupid remarks...or worse, hurtful remarks. I came home too tired out to go to the gym, emotionally frustrated and frankly speaking, just not sociable. The short nap I took after a very light dinner of small portions of noodles made me even more cranky and after going through the reading for tomorrow's lecture, I decided to go surfing. Thought of checking out some stuff with regards to travelling to Perhentian and what did I find? I bought the wrong bloody ticket. Instead of getting it for Kuala Besut, I went ahead and bought it for Dunggun - which will take me longer to reach Besut ALONE and in the middle of the twillight morning that is 5am actually. Why? Coz Nil has no idea what town to go to even after travelling to Perhentian TWICE and me went blindly hunting for WRONG information... You know something? I don't like the idea of travelling ALONE in the middle of the early morning. Nil doesn't understand that this isn't Singapore, this isn't Australia, this isn't Europe, this isn't ME! Hell, even when I was in Australia, I never go anywhere alone past midnight. That's just asking for heaps of trouble - which incidently was what happened to a neighbour's friend who was ambushed and raped in the wee hours of the morning just outside of the campus. I don't go walking around the streets, taking cab rides and what-nots at 5am in the morning looking completely stupid and lost. It's not because I'm not independent or anything like that. It's because I AM NOT STUPID enough to do such things. It's bad enough that things are pretty quiet at those hours, it's bad enough that I did the same thing in Lumut (to go to Pangkor) and felt utterly dirty when being stared at by all those guys out at the mamak after finishing their nightly jaunts in god-knows-where. It's bad enough that I was soooo sleepy and so afraid to fall off to sleep lest someone robs me or ambushes me. Why do I have to be the fucking one to take all the risks? Why do I have to be the fucking one to travel alone in the middle of the night as a young female? This is so annoying. So much so that I balk at the very idea of travelling in the future simply because I have to put myself at risk for just a bit of a break. Why can't he understand that every time he mentions the words "travel alone" or "I'll meet you there" together with "early morning" and "never mind la", I JUST SIMPLY DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWHERE ANYMORE? It is too dangerous for me and frankly, unwarranted risk. Why can't people understand that? Why can't people see that the first thing we are often concerned with is our safety and security? Why does it have to be insisted upon? Why does it have to be the final and only option?|W|P|111081010806043688|W|P|This is annoying.|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com3/12/2005 09:06:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Meng looi yau si, tong sui yau... Meng looi muo si, mok keong heong kau...* *(loosely translated as "If life has something to offer you, it will come. If there is nothing life can offer you, it is best not to hope for things..." - Mabel's mum, 2005) The above is the chorus from a song written and sung by Samuel Hui. It marks the end of what would be one of the better locally made productions that I have seen since I returned back from Australia. Apart from some ackward disjointed bits and the 'weirdness' in sound (can't really describe it - felt the foreground sound was louder than the dialogue), the movie was meaningful, enjoyable and realistic. Realistic enough to make me laugh, cry and nod along with the characters. Best of all, I didn't watch it at a cinema. I bought an original copy of the VCD at Jaya Shopping Centre while trying to beat the afternoon heat with Nil. Yes, even the DVD-supporter in me has a conscience...and concern for the local film industry even though it may seem that I don't talk about movies often enough here. My liking from this movie comes from the unusual way it has been shot and presented. The angles gives it a very polished feel and the presentation - I'm glad to see that 'real' people and behaviours were presented (Malays watching Chinese soaps, Chinese dudes listening to Malay songs - we are so multicultural that we don't even realize it ourselves) and yet, we are a weird mix of both insecure and confidence - we make fun of ourselves and we stand up for ourselves. It is wonderful to hear good ole' Samuel Hui crooning songs from the 80s and 90s again, especially more so in a small town like Ipoh and the setting that has been presented. Samuel Hui's songs are mostly about friendships, life and love - these include women, and money, of course. What was more important was that his songs were real and so was this film. I looked at it and somehow, I don't see an interracial relationship blossoming with all its problems (cue: Spinning Gasing). I absorbed it only to realize the awakening of the cold hard reality of life and fate. We can't always have what we want and sometimes we have to lose the things we love in order to appreciate them and love them even more. Life isn't fair, people will always be people - obnoxious, rude, condescending, arrogant, insecure, and more importantly everchanging...BUT some things, thankfully, still remain the same - love, revenge, friendship and family. Yasmin, you might be interested to know that my students have been asked to review your movie for a Screen Studies assignment that my colleague is teaching. He loves your film and so far, the twenty odd students agree with him. You did a wonderful job and I'm glad that you've gone on to make more films. You are truly born to be a storyteller of this world and perhaps even more. Kudos to you and your team! To you there on your chair, If you haven't seen this film, go watch it. It'll be worth your cash. I promise.|W|P|111063379675735436|W|P|Sepet & Samuel Hui|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com3/08/2005 10:42:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Since I have no idea on what I should concentrate on for today, I decided to come up with a few bits and pieces here - mostly about recent events, decisions and funny insights (or unfunny ones). Bonjour? This morning, I got in touch with people from Alliance Francaises about my interest in taking up a French Beginners language course with them. I had, a few months earlier, done a little research on my own on the Internet, calculated certain things, worked out my schedule and decided that if ever I was going to get serious with Nil, picking up French would be one of the sacrifices that I'd just have to make. So I gave them a call - since their website was still showing information for the January intake (which is already coming to an end). Had a friendly chat with a French lady by the name of Amelie (like the movie) and decided, admist the fact that she had the same accent as Nil, that I'd just go ahead and sign up for the course. I just need to prepare two photographs, bring my IC and RM545 in cash for a whole 30 hours (10 weeks) of tuition, registration fee and materials. Now why did I settle with this place? I had my pick of language schools nearer to home and at a cheaper rate but I wanted something 'official'. Alliance Francaises issues out certificates for students from various levels and these paper documents are recognized by the French government as proper. They even have a Diploma in French Language - which if you graduate with, makes job-hunting in French speaking countries a whole lot easier. Plus you may even get to become a translator with that diploma (but I'll need to double check on that). It would definitely make things easier for me should I end up migrating to France, picking up a job or hell, just living every day as it comes. Of course one of the main problems with signing up for languages is definitely the money. My increment and wind of allowance is not in yet and from the looks of things, it won't be much. Expenses for CNY have put a dent in my pocket due to the fact that when CNY comes, it is assumed that the kiddies - like myself - bear the brunt of facing the cashiers. It didn't help that most of my 'new' resolutions, like going to the gym, treating myself to some new clothes and shoes (been ages since I bought anything new), educating myself with more books ALL happened in the same month. I nearly fainted when I saw the plastic bill online. Nil doesn't mind helping with the French language course but I don't know... I, for one, have never been okay with the idea of loaning money from a partner...or anyone. It just makes me feel utterly incapable of managing my finances. I gave it much thought - even though he just brushes it aside - and crazily enough, I still have yet to come to a decision. I am left with two options: 1) pay everything myself OR 2) split the bill 50-50 and pay him back whatever I owe him.... Whatever it is, there is no way that I'm putting the language class on hold...AND there is no way that I'm going to ask him to pay everything. It would be...hm...too much. Of roads, idiots and stress... For funness and just to relieve stress (which I discover was totally the opposite), I decided to count AND write down number plates of cars that committed traffic offences while driving to the gym from work (and back of course). Here is the not-so-full list for just TODAY...come on, people...I do have to have both hands and eyes plus mind on AND at the wheel, y'know! For jumping the queue at the traffic light (bear in the mind that there was a double line you casually drove over) WHU 275 CAS 8844 For double parking and being a complete nuisance to people who want to exit out of their PROPER parking lots... WLR 4793 NBD 7725 BFD 484 WFC 5270 WKC 9768 For being a stupid idiot by going around in your car with one broken headlight and one functioning one (DO YOU KNOW THAT OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT MISTAKE YOU AS A MOTORCYCLIST?) BDM 4932 I actually saw a few others - there were two other who jumped the queue (classic case of 'monkey see, monkey follow, monkey do'), countless others who double-parked (but I had to drive on by) and a few more idiots who were reading letters/on the handphone/eating while driving on the LDP. Is it any wonder why I didn't want to drive for a year after getting my license? O' when will I ever be able to go on a vacation? Nil and I came up with some vacation plans just to spend some time together ALONE...even though I suspect it's more for me to destress. He *did* notice that since I got promoted, I've been more stressed out, tired out and just plain ole' crazy from the work. I barely get to talk to him at work, and by the time I finish gym, I can only stay up until a certain hour before my body starts ranting and raving about sleep. We came up with some options for certain spots... 1) Labour Day hols would see us in Lang Tengah/Perhentian/Redang/Kenyir - which reminds me, I need to start making arrangements for that. ~_~ Hm...just called Nil. We're going to discuss it this weekend when we meet up. 2) Wesak Day hols would see us in Bali for a short trip - I'll probably fly down to Bali alone, meet him there and come back alone. Hate the idea actually but if I did it my way, we'll end up spending too much time just on the travelling. OH SHYET. Mum's birthday is around that time. ~_~ Geck. Then there is the trip at the end of the year as well to Lyon, France to meet up with Nil's family and friends - planning on stopping over Paris...and there is the issue of getting winter clothes and all that, preparing the cash...aiks... Hm...lots to do, plan and watch out for. SHYET. Time for bed. Nite folks!|W|P|111029315032420164|W|P|Just bits here and there...|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com3/07/2005 07:21:00 AM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Admist the impending doom of breaking the news of my police report (and subsequently car crash to my parents - have yet to tell them...) and the horror (plus frustration) of having to put up with ex-bf's lunatic rantings at me over the Net and online, I had a good weekend. Perhaps some of you may ask why even considering that the past week had been shitty - PC collapses on me, car accident (-.-), office going bonkers and of course, fights over nitty stuff with the boyfriend... I had a good weekend because I felt like a child again. Never mind that I had meet up with my secondary school friends and been served with a 'warrant' to attend a wedding, which I may not go to (coz am going to Lyon to visit Nil's parents and family AND friends). Never mind that this year alone, I'm told, five of my school friends are tying the knot. Makes you kinda left out - but then again, my to-be-married-officially-socially tells me that I have it great at my age - she doesn't really want to get married but hubby's family had been pushing them - four years together, she tells me. O'well...grass always looks greener on the other side. Nil got to meet them albeit weird circumstances but never mind. Off we went for another gathering where he met my GUY friends. Boy was that funny. We ended the first afternoon's outing by getting lost and making additional km on my car just to get home but never mind. I had fun. I always have fun with him...which brings me to the gist of this entry. I had spent a good portion of my weekend laughing, playing and basically just having fun with him. We settled in when he first arrived with hugs and kisses. I had missed the warmth and gentleness of him too much to just write him off to me being sleepy. Our evenings were spent walking around my house hand-in-hand, sometimes arms around each other - near the deserted children's playground which had a couple of swings and see-saws. We sat by the bench and felt the breeze past us by. Talked about impending holiday trips and a future together. And then we did it. We decided to go see-saw-ing. A couple of adults in their mid-twenties see-sawing. It felt weird at first, so we gave it up after a few minutes. BUT it didn't stop us from doing it again. The next evening, we tried and this time, it was fun. Fun to be children again. Fun to watch each other laugh and smile at the other's happy form. Fun to be yourself. I never had it with my ex - the laughter, the goofy-ness that you get off with just because you're part of a relationship, the memories of watching your bf tinker around with your parents, going on holidays just to keep the spark alive. It felt great being partner to a man who wanted to make things work just as much as I did. I can only hope that this will last... In the meantime, it's back to being children and having fun...hm...did I fail to mention that we're making a trip to Sunway's theme park next Sunday? Nil is fascinated with the water slides and I've never been there. Yup. We are totally like children in love. ^_^|W|P|111015219010045702|W|P|Just like children again...|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com3/02/2005 08:58:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Today was the prime example of how sometimes people just can't be bothered to do the right thing. They do it, thinking that it would be good, y'know - part of obeying the law and what-nots, with no ulterior motive of cashing in on someone else's misery - only to be greeted with a "I'm sorry but you're guilty and here is your fine." Someone knocked into the back of my car as I was switching from the left to the right lane - just in front of the UM Library. I was heading towards the auditorium for an exhibition...my car is in okay shape although the other driver's wasn't - she was driving a Kelisa/Kancil and thus a bit dented in. I thought I was doing the right thing by making a police report just to protect myself. And as I was relating the incident to the sargeant, I was suddenly told that I'm being fined because I was the one at fault. WTF?!????!!!!!!!?????????? No matter how hard I protested, how civilly I presented my case, I still lost. He still insist that it was my fault because I should have been on the right lane instead of the left if I wanted to turn right...never mind that I was wayyyyy before the turning, never mind that I was already in the middle of the lane when she rammed into me, never mind that I had earlier turned in from the left and therefore carried on the left lane because I couldn't switched lanes at the crossroads. When I got back to the office, feeling utterly miserable, having to face the prospects of RM300 compound, and RM50 gone to unlocking my car (because of the boohooohaa, my colleague stepped out of the car after I did...and well, my car has auto lock...well...) and not to mention that the person who rammed into my car insisted that I pay her RM400...to which to not make a scene and being naive (this is my first accident and gawd, I feel stupid enough already without having to endure snide remarks), I relented for RM100...which earned me a lecture from the police officer about settling on the street (to which he told me to ask her to make a police report if she wants more money)... ...suddenly people are telling me that I shouldn't have made the police report in the first place. That I shouldn't be accountable for anything, even if I wasn't at fault...that I'm being cheated by the police. My only consolation comes from the fact that the bumper of my car can be realigned for RM85, that I have a colleague who is also in my shoes, and that boyfriend has been understanding and patient. "Just take it as an experience. A lesson, you know." To which, I decided to console myself - "I think this is something everyone has to go through once in their entire life." Why the hell am I such a nice person? Why the hell am I such a responsible person? *starts hitting herself on the head*|W|P|110976912657301391|W|P|Why do I even bother?|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com3/01/2005 08:08:00 AM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Since starting gym nearly two weeks ago, I've been cutting back on carbs and concentrating on minimizing the currently quite large and frankly useless portions of food I keep getting whenever I do take away or eat at home. I allow myself one portion of carbs a day - no more...and if I can help it, I wouldn't mind eating less of it. Now when I speak of carbs, I mean refined carbs - cakes, white rice, white bread, noodles, stuff like that. I up my intake of fruits and veggies but maintain a good serving of meat just to keep the tummy filled up. And then over the weekend, while talking to Nil online and relishing the comforts of home alone (my parents are away in Miri for the week), I somehow chanced about the idea of eating as I would when I was in Australia. Back then - nearly two years ago now - the things that ran around on my shopping lists (I mention them in plural because I shop for groceries every week) were the following:

• Veggies: Organic Pak choy and lettuce
• Fruits: Strawberries, grapes, mangos (when they are in season), fuji apples,
• Deli foods: Sliced cheese (reduced fat and salt by 50%), turkey ham (coz it's healthy than chicken), reduced fat mozarella cheese, salami and of course, ham for sandwiches.
• Meat: Meatballs, lamb/beef,
• Milk section: 1kg tub of vanilla yoghurt (99% fat free), fat free milk *yum*
• Cereal: Instant Quaker oats with flavours like baked apple and French vanilla, Quaker Cereal Corn/Oat Bran
• Treats: 99% fat free baked pretzels
• Others: Tomato sauce, elbow pasta, multigrain bread, tortillas (I use them as wraps).

Once in a blue moon would I get a small tub of ice cream and take forever - like three months - to finish it. But I miss eating that way - the way which makes my body happy and me happy too... And thus, I came upon the idea that since my parents would not be around this entire week, I could do anything and cook anything I wanted. So right after gym, I went to the nearest Giant and bought myself stuff that would make my body happy again - instant oats (I'll settle for drizzling honey or dopple sugar onto them for flavour...maybe get vanillin sugar), wholemeal bread (why can't we have multigrains??? They look just like white bread but has crunchy bits in them), pasta sauce, milk, fishballs, grapes (strawberries were too expensive), and a packet of Japanese noodles for my dinner last night. And so, this morning, I had my first small little bowl of cereal in ages - Quaker Corn Bran with some HL milk. YUM! ps: Lunch will be some oats...and dinner will be pasta! YAY! Now back to work...geh.|W|P|110963694695041517|W|P|Healthy eating.|W|P|meiteoh@gmail.com