7/29/2005 09:59:00 AM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Get a divorce?
I mean of course you would if we were talking about your friends or your colleague or even a relative. It is, after all, their life and if you're anything like me, you let them live it the way they want to.
BUT what if one of your parent was thinking of getting a divorce? Would you let them?
No, no...my parents aren't thinking of getting a divorce - they have a lovely relationship and besides, they don't believe in divorce (marriage is for life is their motto). This is about a few people I know.
Now this is the scenario...
A parent (lets name the person...E) had been thinking about filing for divorce and his/her kiddies are trying to talk him/her out of it. The marriage, E thinks, can't be salvaged. E's partner just doesn't understand his/her ambition, dreams and is just so difficult to live with these days. He/She has changed into something that E cannot comprehend, understand or even accept. E doesn't, if rarely, gets any compliments, affection or even comfort from his/her own partner. In short, the marriage, E feels, is like a marriage of convenience - there is no more love in it. Now E's children are in their late and early twenties and thus, it is only now that E has decided to bring up the issue.
So, if you were E's child, would asking E to bear on with it still make sense? Or would you brave the unknown with E and agree to him/her getting a divorce?
I would actually ask E to get a divorce, especially after trying for many years to work things out between him/her and the partner.
A marriage should be a positive, happy one (speaking on an overall, that is) - it should make both partners satisfied and happy. Most of all, it should be filled with ever-continuing and ever-growing love. Without love, everything else seems to fall apart - in my opinion anyway. We can and will almost fail to make our partners happy if we stop loving them. And once that happens and continue to over ten or even twenty years, people drift apart, so far apart that they lose sight of what made them came together in the first place. When that happens, nothing you do or say can change things.
The moment one parent starts talking or even starts thinking about divorce, you know you have lost the battle. You know that they are close to their limit. It is just a matter of time. For most people anyway.
As the child I look at my parents and I want happiness for both of them. If it meant them getting it while being apart, why not? I'm no longer young and I should be able to understand that 1) marriage should be a blessing and not a curse, 2) if there is no love in it, why force yourself to stay on because you're afraid of being alone, or afraid of hurting someone, and 3) people should never stay in relationships for convenience. It makes people and others around them miserable. Perhaps I'm different in thinking this way.
As the adult (with the prospect of getting married and etc looming ahead in the near future), I would never want to stay in a relationship whereby I'm never appreciated, not sure if I'm even loved or not and hell, I would never ever stay because I'm afraid of the future. I know I deserve more and if my partner has stopped giving it to me (even after trying), why should I stay on? Of course there is more to take into consideration but here I am, telling myself that after twenty years of staying with the same man who has changed so much that I can't even see why we got together in the first place...don't you think I am better off alone now that my kids can fend for themselves?
Now...what about you?|W|P|112260261521152510|W|P|Would you let them?|W|Pemail@example.com/29/2005 10:46:00 AM|W|P|anthony wong|W|P|I agree with u... no point staying in a marriage that is one sided. Now the children are grownup, no reason to stick with a loveless marriage.7/29/2005 10:47:00 AM|W|P|thquah|W|P|Mei. I agreed with you on certain points. If the children are small than maybe it's wiser to just carry on for conveience sake and for the sake of the children. But now as the children are in their twenties i think the divorce should proceed since there is no happiness and satisfaction from the marriage after so many years of hanging in there.
To have a successful marriage;maybe you can check this out, my version ,lol
http://thquah.blogspot.com/2005/05/marriage-and-i.html7/29/2005 03:51:00 PM|W|P|T-Boy|W|P|The moment one parent starts talking or even starts thinking about divorce, you know you have lost the battle.
Hell, no. Love and marriage means fighting for it; you don't just fucking fold over and let it die just because one side contemplates divorce.
A marriage is only over the minute one side stops fighting. And even then it's still uncertain, because how many of us have given up on something, and then came back to it again, trying harder despite the odds?
It's only over when you give up.7/29/2005 04:07:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|T-boy: Yes, love and marriage means fighting, effort, commitment...but like you said, if one party doesn't want to try anymore, what's the point of staying together?
For most people, they'd rather start off afresh - how many of us do we know out there actually break-up with our current partners (married or otherwise) and get back together again?
In this scenario, E's partner has long given up and E has been the one trying. Tired, he/she has starting talking about divorce - a signal that he/she has had enough. Well, that's what I think anyway.
As for me, marriage is to be forever, so I make doubly sure that I find someone who believes in effort, commitment and the same bloody thing too before I get hitch. *keeps fingers crossed*7/29/2005 04:10:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Anthony: Yips. Parents too have their own lives to lead.
Thquah: Agrees with that - I think lots of people don't really think the same but their way of thinking is still valid. Like T-Boy said, some people do get back together after a divorce and although I agree, I can't help but think that a good majority don't. Why is that?
I think I'm too much of a realist. Gack.7/29/2005 05:56:00 PM|W|P|mystic|W|P|7/29/2005 05:57:00 PM|W|P|mystic|W|P|Mei: My take on this is, even if the kids are young, if two people can no longer live with each other why force it upon them? I know its bad for the kids. And to think of divorcing after 20-30 years together is possibly the hardest decision too. I have a close fren who's parents are in this mess now.7/31/2005 08:03:00 AM|W|P|7/28/2005 04:06:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|NOTE: Potential female anatomy and sexual health details up ahead!
Most of us are probably familiar with the use of yeast (or at least what yeast is) - in beers, and breads - but how many of us know that we have yeast cells in our bodies? Ohyes, we have them in our mouths and for the women, in our vaginas too; they live side by side with some very good bacteria and well, some not so good ones. Yeast is part of the whole system of living organisms in our bodies and when one small bit of the 'system' is disrupted, some bacteria explode in terms of population, leading to infections.
Commonly known as 'vaginal yeast infection' or just 'yeast infection', Candidiasis is just that - an organism population explosion. It usually occurs because of stress, changes in the hormones, frequent douching, too much sugar (diabetic women get this alot) and even changes in the Ph level of the vagina itself.
You know roughly when you've been 'attacked' by yeast when your vulva and vagina start itching like crazy, and if you grab a mirror* and look, the folds of the skin and entrance of the vagina look red and not pink. Bad attacks include the above AND a discharge that looks somewhat like cottage cheese (all lumpy and white) - now if you have problems imagining what it looks like, just think of crumbling fetta cheese all over your fingers OR you can look here (WARNING: Gross picture). Now, the discharge for yeast infections usually is not foul smelling - so if it stinks or looks yellow, it means you have some other problems too.
* Ladies, if you have never seen how your kitty-cat looks like, I suggest you start TODAY. There is nothing wrong with examining how your vulva and the area around it looks like - actually it helps you identify if there is anything wrong. Your partner (if you have one) has to put up with looking and hell, even tasting it, so what's wrong with you just looking? :p
So what do you do when your kitty-cat starts to really itch and when you grab the mirror, you get this weird looking lumpy discharge?
Well, first of all, go see a doctor - just to double-confirm that it is really a yeast infection AND to check with her/him as to what to do. Preference of the biological sex of the doctor is up to you - although I usually prefer a female doctor (they tend to be more sympathy and well, I'm just not used to the idea of another man sticking up his fingers and/or looking into my vagina).
The doctor will ask you what's wrong and then get you to strip (pants/skirt AND panties off), lie down on a bed with a blanket covering your legs - they just normally lift up the blanket and take a peep. You know how some ladies are - shy and all that... Some doctors will take swabs just to be sure.
Oh, be prepared for intimate questions like "Are you sexually active?" and stuff - it pays to be honest plus there is also a doctor-patient priviledge thingie to consider. So no worries about that. The doc will give you some advice on what to do - some of it, I'll mention later on - and that's it. You're done.
Now, many people think that yeast infection is a 'dirty' disease because of its cousin (mouth trush) being part of the whole AIDS combo but actually yeast infections are very common in women. Almost 75% of women worldwide who have had a yeast infection before they hit menopause and twice after their hit menopause. There are no long term consequences for a yeast infection and it usually clears up - with medication - within a few days or a week. It's annoying but nothing dangerous. There are some people out there who get recurrent attacks - so usually the doc advises the partner to clean up before getting it on and wear a condom OR no sex during the infection period.
BTW, men get yeast infections too - and they show no symptoms at all. Scary, huh?
Okay, so what if you NEVER ever want to have a yeast infection?
Change your diet (do click on the links if you want to know more).
In a nutshell, start eating A LOT of fruits, yoghurt (find out why here - natural ones are good) and cranberry juice (cranberry also helps to prevent UTI - which women are prone to getting as well coz they have a shorter pee track then men!). Drink heaps of water - cut down on the alcohol and sugary drinks - and if you're diabetic, you have to control your sugar level (so less carbs, less sugar).
You might also want to consider...
I reckon this is part and puzzle of getting a vaginal yeast infection. For one, I don't see anything gross about it and it's always good to learn more about your body (and how it works). At least it benefited me - yes, yes, I checked myself in with the gyno and did a check because I was having this infection (geez, first my earlobe now my privates!). She said it was a bad case of yeast infection; usually mild attacks have no cottage cheese discharge - so she gave me three tables to take once a week and those tips as well. She also did my FIRST pap smear for me and I'll be getting my result next week. More about that in another entry.
So yeah. Here's to being a woman...
I just spoke to a dietitian/nutritionist friend of mine and she agreed with the doc's suggestion on taking probiotic supplements for treating yeast infections and for general health (preventing it that is). Probiotic supplements are basically capsules containing culture - like acidophilus, and etc - it's like taking a huge dose of yoghurt. ^_^
She also mentioned that the dosage is differs with the use. If you're taking it for general health, probiotics containing 1.5 billion live organisms in each capsule is okay. If you're taking it for treatment, then you have to get probiotics that have at least 8 billion live organisms.
You can get probiotic supplements from any health food store - I just got one for general health (1.5 billion), called Kyo-Dophilus (90 capsules) with L.acidophilus, B.bidifum and B.longum for RM67 - it was actually RM79.90 but there was a promotion. Am planning to get the 8 billion dosage after I'm done with this one just to prevent reoccurence of yeast infection.
She also did mention that if you have acne that is not hormone related, probiotics supplements (the 8 - 20 billion) dose is great for treating stubborn acne! ^_^|W|P|112253807027521993|W|P|Of yeast...yeah...just yeast.|W|Pfirstname.lastname@example.org/28/2005 09:53:00 PM|W|P|SBB|W|P|!! NEVER Douche! Ever! In fact you should not even use harsh soaps in that area...
- Changing your underwear (cotton is always better than synthetic fibres),
- Washing and drying your kitty-cat after a workout,
- Quit wearing those god-awful tight jeans,
- Stop douching (you're killing all the good bacteria!), and...
- Do wipe from front to back please.
I used to suffer from yeast too, once in a while. Then i switched to reusable cotton pads instead of using disposables and it disappeared.
Suggest you try that if you have problems (wearing cotton panties where got help when you wear plastic, paper + chemicals for 5 days of the month?).
Or you can try a menstrual cup - just started using one of those and it's great!7/28/2005 10:04:00 PM|W|P|SBB|W|P|And another thing... she did you pap smear while you're still having the yeast infection? That's not supposed to be very effective, isn't it?
When I was in Australia, the gynae there waited until my yeast infection was gone before she did the pap.7/28/2005 10:54:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|I think she wrote something on the sheet that was to be sent to the lab with the swab to rule out yeast infection. :p
By the by, I don't douche. Won't even try as well. I think mine was due to stress (I got it last week when I was going through a job hunting period) and a change in diet. I stop eating yoghurt for a while and had a lot of sugar in my blood too (carbs and stuff).
But yeah, it was sure nice to know that I'm not alone. :)7/29/2005 12:29:00 AM|W|P|wombie|W|P|I just recovered from one. Almost freaked the helluva my mind when it happened. So much for sex education in our school system!!
I'd like to add a few more to the list.
- Change out of wet swimsuits/damp clothes ASAP.
- Try using unscented, undyed toilet paper
- use a pantyliner or sanitary pad if you're using the yeast infection cream to prevent from messing up your underwear
- Warm showers help ease the itch (for me at least), especially on the lower tummy area. Also works when you're mentruating.
Here's something interesting I found out:
Nonoxynol-9 (spermicide on condoms) are linked to yeast infection
http://www.walnet.org/csis/groups/swav/healthcards/nonox.html7/29/2005 08:32:00 AM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Simmie: I freaked out as well...until I did a ton of research on the Net and went to see the gynae. And yeah, sex education sucks in M'sia - and hey, I saw those links too. :P11/19/2005 07:25:00 AM|W|P|
I get repeated infections that dont seem to properly clear up. could it be that as I have a weak bladder and when I work out I wear plastic incontinence panties to prevent accidents showing and I am also very sexually active. would either of the these cause this situation7/25/2005 01:45:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Disclaimer: Personal provocative thoughts ahead. If you do not like the tone of this entry or its contents, please close the window and leave this blog - don't even bother to leave a message. You are under no obligation to agree or disagree with me.
...is how this country is falling apart.
Since my return from Australia, Dad has slowly but surely been bugging me to start making preparations to leave for greener pastures. He is worried and I suppose I can't say that he is wrong in worrying. He reckons that he'll die in Malaysia but the last thing he wanted was to see me continue to live in a country where the possibility of me losing whatever little that I have now is real - as real as it can be. He is nearing his sixties - a man who was born during the Second World War, a teenager during the Emergency period, a family man during the depression. He served his country in the Royal Malaysian Air Force during a time when there were plenty of Chinese and Indians in the army. Most of our relatives then were government servants.
But times have changed, he noted.
He watched as his daughter missed out on getting a local education - which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. He watched as the children of his wealthier cousins go abroad and continue to live there - working and living in better conditions.
Just today, my uncle related the story of a high school friend who went to live in the UK for twenty over years. This man, who retired for medical reasons, drew a pension of 1000 pounds a month and together with his medical insurance, lived off about 2000 pounds each month. He lives alone, a confirmed bachelor in his apartment with his car. He doesn't spend much on his desires - only necesities for him - and because he was formerly a government servant (he was a teacher), transportation is free for him. Pensions schemes are far better there than here - Dad gets RM800 a month after working nearly twenty years with the airforce. My aunt gets about RM1000 - but that's because she has worked with the government for eons. Nevertheless, minus her housing loan (she has another six years to go), she's left with RM500.
One generation down and we reach my cousins who have spent the last few years studying, and now working in the US. Three of them - a pair of twin boys and their older sister - have moved from Atlanta to New York upon completion of their studies. Theirs is an interesting case as my cousin sister has yet to receive her work permit (her visa expires on 8 August) and thus will have to return home to M'sia in the event that she doesn't receive news about her work permit within this week. The two boys - as we affectionately still call them (even though they are young men) are earning a comfortable salary of USD4K each with a multinational company in NY. Their work permits will last them for three years. They see no need to return to Malaysia and plan to obtain their green cards.
Why? Their reasoning was that the benefits that they were currently obtaining were far greater than the benefits that they would receive here. They hail from Ipoh and thus, reckon that they would have to work in KL should they return. Would any company here pay a fresh graduate or someone with a year of working experience RM4000? The boys speak of buying a house - which I know is in their means as they can be very trifty) - and a car (which is hardly expensive). Would they be able to do the same here at their age?
Dad sees young people struggling all their lives to reach to the stage of 'comfort' and stability. Yet he wonders if they are making the right choice to stay here and at what cost. He has given up hope on Malaysians and ultimately on our country. Ocassionally, he grumbles about how 'uneducated' Malaysians are, about how 'uncivilised' we have become and about how 'fair' opportunities do not exist anymore (and even if they do, exist on a miniscule scale). He watches and listens to the stories of people who have moved abroad and sees a difference - a difference in the way people think.
It is hard not to disagree with him. I have seen it for myself - heard the stories myself. I know what my old man is talking about. I know his heart's desire.
I returned home to rude drivers, rubbish thrown onto the streets (and onto my car), narrow-minded people, disorganized systems, filth everywhere and nearly three years later, I'm still trying to cope. Even Nil can understand why. He doesn't even want to work here - and I don't want him to spend his entire life here. It is not for him...not even for me - especially after what I've seen going on in the UMNO General Assembly meeting.
These days, whenever Dad talks about wanting me to leave, I stop protesting. I stop agreeing. I start making plans instead.
Background info: I left Australia two years ago due to circumstances that were very much similar to my cousin's - my visa was going to expire. I came back thinking that it would be the right choice for me, thinking that I could make a difference. I realized that while I went around trying to make a difference, I was neglecting my own life, my own dreams, and my own well-being. I made the mistake of thinking that being patriotic would be enough to satiate my appetite.
Needless to say, I grew tired of being selfless, of being 'patriotic' (I thought that making a difference would make me patriotic), and I grew hungry - hungry for better pastures. My logic was this: why wait till I am old and tired - without the youthful exuberance needed to conquer life? Besides, I have never grown my roots here - I was always a wanderer (so to speak - according to Mum's feng shui mistress-friend, I was destined to move to 'greener pastures' as many people would term it).
When you have tasted sweetness and bitterness in your own life, which would you logically choose? Which would outweigh the other in terms of priority?
Like I said in my disclaimer - you don't have to agree or disagree with me. I do not want to make apologies for saying this - it is my life, after all and I am the one who has to live it. No one else - not even my parents, not even Nil and not especially you, yes, the one reading this.
C'est la vie - people come and go, live and die, migrate and emmigrate.
I have learnt to accept that there will be people who see things differently from me - that's good (some optimism, and hope is always good), that there will always be people who will want to return to the place of their birth, that they will always see the silver lining in the grey clouds. Doesn't mean that they are blind to reality or wrong. It is just the way life is.
I ask the same from you.
Accept the fact that there will be some people who will want to leave the place you call home. Who see the good but more of the bad. Who have given up the hope and would rather be more realistic than ever. It doesn't mean that they are blind to reality or wrong.
This is life - variety is the spice of life, remember?
|W|P|112227185882037442|W|P|When all Dad talks about...|W|Pemail@example.com/25/2005 02:36:00 PM|W|P|
However direct comparison with New York, London & Singapore is unfair as KL has not reached developed status yet.7/25/2005 06:04:00 PM|W|P|MahaguruSia|W|P|Hmm... interestingly, why did you return in the first place? leave your reply in my email, if you wish. Thks7/25/2005 10:24:00 PM|W|P|d4g|W|P|I agree with anonymous over there, you can't really compare KL with New York or Toronto etc; KL is still developing...
Plus to be honest, many people get the impression that if you go abroad, you'll have a good life etc... it's not as rosy as people think it is, just like at home, to get jobs over here, you need to have "networks" and contacts. I've seen many educated immigrants from 3rd world countries come here hoping to have a better life, but they end up getting only low-paying jobs like cab driving or working at the grocery store.
True the money you get here will be definately be more than compared to back at home, nevertheless taxes over here are crazy, almost 30% of your annual income goes to the Government.
On the contary, I will admit, the quality of life here is definately better. Standard of living is so much better over here (in canada) compared to back home.
I wouldnt go as far to say I've lost hope in Malaysia; give it another couple of years...the country is still relatively young compared to other western countries and so on... even though I may not live in malaysia in the future, I still believe it has the potential to be a good place to live in years to come.7/25/2005 11:34:00 PM|W|P|
When I go to these typically ethnic places they are way worse than those in Malaysia.
As for the medical care, its almost free in canada but have you see the waiting lists??? Many have died just waiting for their turn. As for the US, you can't even afford to be ill. Like everywhere else, people will be disappointed by their country.
Just my 2 cents worth.7/25/2005 11:40:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Anonymous: Then who do we compare ourselves to? Another country on equal, if not lower status so that we can continue to excuse the fact that our country has a very long way to go just because we are LESS developed?
While I know for a fact that rude, obnoxious and uncivilised people exist everywhere, I also do not deny the fact that Malaysia DOES suffer from the 3rd world mentality - something which I didn't quite see in Australia (while I was there).
How else can we grow if we continue to excuse our lack of development in the first place?
Maha: My circumstance then was similar to my cousin now - our visas were expiring.
Pra: Think about where the taxes are going to - in those countries, you KNOW it. You SEE it. You reap its rewards. It goes to medicare, it goes to public transport, better services, welfare, pension schemes, retirement benefits, unemployment benefits. They don't just tax you for nothing.
What about in Malaysia? Do you see your taxes going anywhere other than into the pockets of cronies?
As for migrants with low-paying jobs, I have spoken, and befriended to many who have migrated to better pastures - some were my friends - close friends, friends of friends and even family friends. Friends who went on to become doctors, nurses, accountants, tech consultants, engineers, lecturers, writers, journalists...need I go on?
I KNOW what I'm talking about.
"even though I may not live in malaysia in the future, I still believe it has the potential to be a good place to live in years to come"
And why won't you live in Malaysia if you believe that it has potential to be a good place to live in?
I have seen the best and worst that this place has to offer - and for me, I would like to go somewhere else where at least the best outweighs the worst.
You don't have to agree or disagree with me. None of you. This is, after all, my life.7/25/2005 11:58:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Rom: Lets not start with the comparision game - it will not end anywhere but in fights about who is better and who is right. I can tell you a lot of stories about our medical system here but I don't want to do that.
Like I said earlier - AND in my disclaimer - you don't have to agree OR disagree with me.
THIS is life. People come and go. Why can't we just accept it?7/26/2005 05:19:00 AM|W|P|d4g|W|P|"And why won't you live in Malaysia if you believe that it has potential to be a good place to live in?"
The thing is I would...if all I cared about was making money and being rich...Malaysia would be a superb place to start up new businesses and stuff...that's what most of my malaysian friends here think anwyays...unfortunately I don't care about money and to be honest, I'm not as patriotic as some people are, I don't have the cravings and the urge to come back to my birth place like how some other malaysians do. But hey that's just me...i dont think being patriotic is a major crime or sin.
The only major thing I miss about home is my family, that's all.
And besides, I wouldnt be able to fulfil my career goals back at home. Therefore yes, I'd prefer to stay here.
Now having said all that, this is personally how I FEEL... I wouldnt discourage and talk abt how the country is getting worse and worse...cuz seriously it isnt.
But at the end of the day, you're right - people come and go, and there's nothing wrong with that at all... my dad chose to settle down in malaysia despite my mum's persuasion to go to the west (those countries were accepting immigrants and it was really easy to get in at that time)
Like you to a certain extent I've seen the best and worst of malaysia..and to some extent I've seen the best and worst of this place too...but at the end of the day, if you think you'll find greener pastures elsewhere, go ahead :)7/26/2005 10:38:00 PM|W|P|rational thinker|W|P|hi mei.
whatever you do, you will realize...friends and life, where you are..basically revolve around how you carry yourself. :)
Good luck in case you are thinking of moving again!.
kam7/28/2005 09:05:00 AM|W|P|philters|W|P|walk a day in my shoes, in my line of work, meet the people i meet and the places i go, and you will understand the side of malaysia that people never see.
there is hope for this country yet. but the lesser the number who believe in this hope, the dimmer it grows, the quicker it dies. some people have lived their whole lives being part of the pulse that believed in the malaysian dream, others have walked away from this vision.
300 years before independence, people walked away from the vision of our own country too.
it is the youths of this generation that forms the army of this vision.
next week, malaysia celebrates its month of independence.
good luck in seting your life directions.7/28/2005 10:32:00 AM|W|P|
If the country's legal apparatus/system is in a constant struggle erroding the moral fabric of the society. Leave.
-- Old Man7/30/2005 01:45:00 PM|W|P|zeeyen|W|P|Where I come from, Malaysia's just wonderful. I have the same disgust and feelings as Mei when it comes to urban living, be it in KL or Hong Kong (where I spend years living and working there - as an IT professional, drawing more than decent wages).
Try taking a drive on weekends to the smaller towns or places.....and you will see the difference in the attitude of the people of Malaysia.9/16/2005 03:06:00 AM|W|P|
At time country's legal apparatus/system really disappointing.
I am another Malaysian who stuck out there.
Renew your visa, perhaps any other country. However, remember your root. Come back to visit the country when you feel like doing so.
Sometimes the "uniqueness" of this country really can't help it. Let's just move on our life out there and continue to observe.
KG7/22/2005 02:38:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|It has been a crazy nearly one week for me - with its ups and downs - downs being the fact that I am jobless and suffering from a slight ear infection (BLECK!)...ups being Harry Potter coming out and me going for second round interviews.
I spent the entire week keeping as busy as I can and now, it looks like I can enjoy whatever free time I have left.
Yes, you read it right.
I'll have to enjoy whatever free time I have left because people, I'll be starting work on 16th of August in Cyberjaya as a sub-editor with Wolters Kluwer.
Never mind that it is in another land by itself - pretty far but I plan to go by public transport. Never mind that I'll probably have to bring my own lunch and change my gym membership to "Passport" instead of "Home. Never mind that I'll be starting work immediately after my Vietnam trip.
It's alright. New opportunities demand new changes. I'll adapt. I'll adjust.
It's okay. Thanks to all for their support.
I'M SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
^______________^|W|P|112201504590872685|W|P|Change can be good for you sometimes.|W|Pfirstname.lastname@example.org/22/2005 06:11:00 PM|W|P|7/22/2005 06:26:00 PM|W|P|philters|W|P|congratulations!
can't stand doing subbing myself, so i have loads of honest respect for sub-editors.
you'd do great!:)7/22/2005 07:15:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|DIM: Yup...that's one aspect that I'm trying to change - to not be such a worrypot - it's hard though. Especially when there is only one person working in family. But I like to think that it makes things more exciting - in some aspects la.
Magic: Thankies...although I hope I have some time for blogging left once I start. :)7/22/2005 10:46:00 PM|W|P|Rajiv Finn|W|P|hehe =)
nice to hear you got some perspective in your life. anyway, your comment earlier suggested you were interested in volunteering with PAWS near the subang old airport.. if you want, i'll be starting monday too.. do come if you can, they're really shorthanded there, great if you bring a carload of buddies too..
rajiv finn7/25/2005 11:12:00 AM|W|P|
Its a new start and definitely away from that awful ex-super of yours. She must be envious.7/25/2005 08:58:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Rom: I dropped by the office two days ago. Saw her and said hi. She was so brusque. Just this flat, no feeling hi back to me. I don't think she knows of this though. :p7/27/2005 12:03:00 AM|W|P|fishtail|W|P|Congrats! So you WERE a worrypot after all, huh? All the best :)7/27/2005 01:21:00 PM|W|P|Piggy|W|P|Congrats dearie! Told you you'd get it. So glad for you! Whoopee!!7/21/2005 09:50:00 AM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|2nd round interview for the job that I have my heart and mind set on!
Today at 3:30pm! ^_______^
Wish me luck!|W|P|112191064129154887|W|P|*excited*|W|Pemail@example.com/21/2005 12:24:00 PM|W|P|7/21/2005 12:24:00 PM|W|P|7/21/2005 04:26:00 PM|W|P|7/21/2005 04:35:00 PM|W|P|7/21/2005 04:56:00 PM|W|P|jagdeep|W|P|Mabel,
I m sure ull get the job!! :D7/21/2005 07:16:00 PM|W|P|thquah|W|P|You sure can one!!!No need worry.7/21/2005 07:29:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|:lol:
I should blog about the outcome now! :p7/22/2005 12:50:00 PM|W|P|Lrong|W|P|Good luck...7/19/2005 09:19:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Anyone who knows me very well will have this to say about me: "She is a worrypot first and next, a pressure cooker."
True to form, I'm starting to feel the downs of being jobless. So far, I have gone for two interviews (got to the second round for one of them - which I'm planning to turn down for reasons that I'll explain in another entry) and that is it. Dozens of applications have been sent out and so far, the trail has gone cold. And I'm beginning to worry heaps.
To make matters worse, it is taking a toll on my relationship with Nil. My parents don't really have a problem with it - because there was once Dad was jobless for a couple of long months and things were a bit tight but it didn't escalate into fights. He took up tourism studies to kill time and later found a job. But that's Dad. He had his pension to tide things over and I reckoned he has more control over his emotions and mind than I do.
Moi? I get scared at the sign of instability in my life. All my life I have been organized when it comes to my future. I like knowing where I'm heading towards, what I'm doing next...and having backup plans. So when things go out of wack, it is difficult for me to cope with things. Couple that with the fact that I DO NOT like relying on my parents for stuff - especially at their age when they should be enjoying their lives - and that I cannot stand being without a job - it makes me feel worthless.
I know I made the decision to resign without a job offer at hand - it has come to bit me back in the ass - but while that is the hard cold fact of the past, the current issue now is that this is starting to make me feel depressed or at least it's starting to annoy the hecks out of me.
How do I know that? I start thinking that I'll never find a job. I start fighting with Nil over really petty stuff - things that he means well but I misinterpret as otherwise. I'm trying to see the positive of things - that it's just been a few days since my last day (on Friday last week); that resigning *is* better than staying on; things like that.
It's hard and for a worrypot like myself, it is not easy.
Nil and I had a fight today over the second round interview with an education institute here in Selangor. He was of the opinion that I should just attend it since I had "nothing else better to do" whereas I saw no point in going (didn't want to waste their time and mine) - for a few reasons:
These conditions were worse off than where I was and thus when I stepped out of the room, when everything cleared - I started to have this awful feeling about things. What was the point of me leaving if I was going back to the same ole' shit again for one or two hundred ringgit more? And would it help if I were to go abroad to work?
While I understood Nil's intentions by asking me to go for the second round just to try things out, I resented the tone he gave me over the phone - "nothing else better to do". It was already bad enough that I dislike the idea of being jobless - but saw it necessary to resign - and thus, have been trying to keep my days as busy as ever and as productive as I was working before...to tell me that I had nothing else better to do was to imply that I am just sleeping, shitting and eating at home - which is hardly the case. I resented the implication - it was exactly what I fear I would get from people - the "since you're jobless, just settle la, just try la, just get any job la - as long as you're working...".
BUT what if I don't want to settle for the first job offer that comes along the way? What if I want to choose a job that will help make pathways for me in the near future? I want to be able to find a job that opens doors for me, not close them - not at my age anyway.
And yet I cannot help but worry about the instability of it all.
It is sure going to be a couple of long days ahead...|W|P|112178159718959005|W|P|Going through some rough times...|W|Pfirstname.lastname@example.org/19/2005 10:56:00 PM|W|P|thquah|W|P|Don't worry, I am sure you will be able to get the job you crave for.
- They made me wait 45 minutes for my interview (which I absolutely detest! I mean ten or fifteen minutes is fine but nearly one hour?!??)
- They wanted me to jump right into teaching - 16th of August - fyi, their semester starts on the 15th of August.
- They expect me to teach four subjects a semester, two during a short semester and they have 3-4 intakes a year.
- Their classes are usually 60-90 strong and I will be handling both lectures and tutorials.
- They have a six month probation period.
Just take it easy, time will only be the better judge.7/19/2005 11:03:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|*sighs* Thanks...but sometimes I just can't help but worry. Is it normal?7/19/2005 11:41:00 PM|W|P|BawangMerah|W|P|I've been having the dilemma of whether to quit and move on or stay. The same question haunt me. Whats the point of leaving to do the same old thing. :(7/20/2005 10:10:00 AM|W|P|philters|W|P|... so you can make a difference!
here's the thing, you are not stepping back in the same environment you came from and it is unfair to say that you're going back to do the same thing and this place is going to be just as shitty as the place you left.
point is this, if you don't like the terms and conditions they gave you, that is fair. however, to say that this place is just is bad as the last one is not. judging a place by the first impression is not fair.
don't generalise colleges the way people generalise you as a jobless bum. you want people to give you a chance, you gotta give people a chance also.7/20/2005 10:42:00 AM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Magic: Have I really? Made a difference?
The thing is this: do I really want to be exploited at the offset chance of me making a difference? As selfish as it seems, I somehow have decided that it's time for some attention to my needs and my future. Perhaps when the times comes, I can make a difference but not now.
Also, yes, I stand corrected about the generalization of the college - although my former colleagus were telling me that it's bad - from their experience there, that is. O'well...to each their own. Thanks for the word-up.7/20/2005 06:23:00 PM|W|P|Cupcake Queen|W|P|I wish you all the best, Mei. I hope you make a wise choice. Go by your first impression and gut feelings.7/20/2005 09:45:00 PM|W|P|7/19/2005 09:09:00 AM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|Well, things have been slightly different now that I'm no longer working. People assume that I'm having a jolly good time taking a break but I somehow feel different about the whole thing. I wake up around the same time as well, and I still do housechores and stuff - like run errands, for my parents and boyfriend - not to mention go around hunting for jobs. In a way, it is work; in a way, it isn't.
I now have more time to spend doing things like baking, gym-ing, travelling meeting friends and blogging - but somehow I just haven't done all of those things except for the "meeting friends" and "travelling" bit. I spent most of my afternoon yesterday out. First to run errands and drop off some of my former colleague's stuff and then lunch with my former students. I bumped into a couple of them at the local mall and well, we just hung around, talked, window shopped and that was it.
Note: I'm the type who just can't stay at home and rot. Besides, my parents just gave me several assignments - design a website and business card for them over the next two weeks. I reckon I'll have to start on it tomorrow - have a few ideas in mine, so we'll see how it goes.
Anyway, by the time I got back, it was time to shower, read some newspaper, chat with my parents, cook my dinner and then off to French class. Somehow in between all that, I got a call to attend an interview with a local education institute today around noon - which brings me to consider about a few things. What my options are should I get offers from both the industry and the education sector - bearing in mind that I might have to work overseas in the near future? I know it is too soon to tell but in my case, I reckon it never hurt to consider things like that.
Well, I best get started on breakfast now, if I want to get ready for my interview later. After that, it's a visit to the gym and sauna there. ^_^
And because I was tagged by thesam117:
5 songs that I currently love (in no particular order):
By the way, did I mention that Dad is thinking of installing a CD player in my car??? WHOPPPIEEE!!!!|W|P|112173563756231871|W|P|The days are slow...|W|Pemail@example.com/17/2005 08:48:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|The weekend has been quite good; have not felt this sudden surge in excitement over the prospects of a second interview (and of finding a job). Neither did I feel this rush in me about the simplest things in life - things that amuse me even though I have other things to worry about.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed about this job interview - I went for it on Saturday morning. It was not a big interview, since it was conducted by a recruitment agency. There was a test for me to go through - proof-reading/editing test - and I spent the rest of the time just chatting with the consultant.
Was told that I stand a very good chance of being called in for the second round - since I did quite okay on the test and my profile is relevant and suitable for the job. Also, since the payroll for the position comes from Australia, it also looks like they can pay me what I ask for. Training is provided - and the office (in Cyberjaya, which is currently under expansion) is managed by the team from Australia and not here. I'm hoping to hear from the guy over the next few days - since he did mention that the Senior HR Consultant is very organized and efficient - apparently she normally contacts him within a few hours to a day at most.
I'm excited about this - well, I'm always excited about new opportunities, and new chances that allow me to showcase my potential, character and talent. Wish me luck!!! ^_^
Harry Potter Six
Was around KLCC during the launch - at Kinokuniya specially. There were plenty of copies lying around the two entrances and even during lunchtime, people were queuing up to pay RM99.90 for a copy of JK Rowling's latest creation. And yes, I'm one of the few adults who follow the story - it's not my fault if it is one of the more interesting fiction books around. To each their own, I suppose.
Anyway, I didn't know if I really wanted to get the book since it is super expensive and I'm too tight on cash to afford an expense that I can do without at the moment. So I did the next best thing. I grabbed a copy - I was there early since my interview was in KL - found a quiet spot somewhere near the music section and read the first few chapters and the last two chapters. I pretty much know the ending but am confused over several things. It is something that I won't discuss until I get a copy of the book and read it from cover to cover. Nil is going to help me check if the book is slightly cheaper in Singapore. He finds the craze of Harry Potter interesting.
I wonder if people went nuts over Enid Blyton back in the 80s.
The movie was...nothing big to shout about. I personally felt that the concentration on the drama between Reed Richards and Sue Storm plus Ben and Johnny actually overshadowed their fight with Dr Doom (Victor Von Doom). Sure, this is an intro but compared to the X-Men, this was a big disappointment. Was hoping to see more action, more insight into their abilities and etc...but all I had to go on was the soapy dialogue, brash stupid hero action from Johnny and Ben's turmoil.
Although I must admit one thing: they managed to get the right people for the roles - reminded me a lot about the comic series - the only problem? Jessica Alba's hair here looks pretty fake. The other saving grace? Call me a sucker for proposal scenes but the one in FF was kinda sweet with Mr Smart but Dumb proposing to Sue Storm with a piece of wreckage from the cosmic storm thingie.
Honestly...I'd rather stick to the comic series.
Cooking, actually baking!
High on my to-cook list is tiramisu, some cookies and perhaps a cheesecake as well - for my former colleagues and some of my students. They are starting 'school' tomorrow and I'll be meeting up with them just to say goodbye and stuff like that. Not to mention that I need to drop off some things to one of my former colleagues.
But yeah, I'm thinking of shopping for the ingredients sometime on Thursday morning, make it that night - need to check with Mum on the availability of space in the fridge - and hopefully, if everything goes good, get it out to my colleagues on Friday afternoon as dessert. If I can't find ingredients, I'll probably settle on making some chocolate orange cheesecake since Mum bought some oranges from the pasar malam today.
I'm thinking of fine-tuning some of my cookie recipes, probably investing in a scrapbook of my own and write down the cookie recipes. Examples? My lemon/citrus/orange shortbreads, peanut cookies, butter cookies, etc...
My bookshelf is overflowing with books now - I have resorted to shoving about nearly fifty thin books into my cupboard simply because I have nowhere else to keep them. I also have two small boxes with reading material I used for work. First on my list will be to sort out one of my drawers (my bed had two big drawers under them) and place those books in them. Alternatively, I'd have to go through my entire collection, pull out books I don't want and sell them to a second-hand store. Problem is I am not too sure where to go. Paylessbooks doesn't want them. Any ideas?
Once that is done, I'll be catalogue-ing my books and start reading some of the stuff which I have been meaning to but never ever had the time to go through. My huge Jane Austen book, Mists of Avalon, and other classics/contemporary fiction. I don't think I'll list them here - too lazy. :p
I think that should do it for now. What a weekend!!!|W|P|112160635230178011|W|P|Updates.|W|Pfirstname.lastname@example.org/19/2005 09:06:00 AM|W|P|philters|W|P|mmm... tiramisu... :)7/19/2005 01:09:00 PM|W|P|Cupcake Queen|W|P|Hey, Mei. You could to to Taman Megah to get bakng supplies from these two shops- Chang Tung & Bake with Yen. :D7/19/2005 06:13:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Magic: Yeah....tiramisu!
- We've Got Tonight by Kenny Rogers and Shena Easton
- Cut Both Ways by Gloria Estefan
- What Matters Most by Rankin Kenny
- Belaian Jiwa by Innuendo
- Imagine by Beatles
CQ: Oh yeah, I forgot - you bake as well! Got any recipes to share?7/14/2005 09:57:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|It is not as easy as we see it in the movies - pack up, go and everyone including yourself forgets about the whole thing.
My last day is tomorrow - or so I discovered today. And so the task of really clearing out stuff from my table began. As I slowly put in the last traces of my existence in this office, I keep a brave front - telling myself that this was the right decision; that leaving would be good for me...
And yet, when I first broke the news to one of my colleagues, I could see the start of tears to come - even from her tough resolve about crying over things like this. When my students found out, my heart broke a little as they started pleading, and saying things like how they will miss me and that things wouldn't be the same without me around to guide them, teach them, rebuke them and care for them. Some of my colleagues hurry around planning lunches, meetings - others who are to go on leave tomorrow speak in hush tones to me about meeting up while I'm away...of keeping in touch...it pains me even further.
As I leave the office with my other colleague in tow who has a box of my magazines in his arms, it starts to sink in and tear away at whatever brave front I have. Come tomorrow, this place which I call my second life, this place which held the work that made me joyful and complete, this place where I met the most wonderful and supportive people will no longer cease to be mine.
The stories of students, the jokes, the trials, the advice (on work and even our personal lives), the laughter in our little workstations or over lunch - the memories we share of changes...all of it gone.
Seeing all the things I have from my office in my room - the books, papers, trinkets I use to decorate my workstation - are little reminders of my soon-to-be former workplace and all it contained. Packing and giving them away brought back memories of how I dealt with my previous breakup - giving away reminders was one way of soothing the pain; pretending as if it never existed.
But it's hard to do that - pretend as if it didn't exist - when people constantly wish you weren't going and that they will miss you terribly...
It pains me.
It's even harder when no one seems to understand this. Yes, while I am happy that I will no longer be working with her - that seems to be the only consolation in this decision that I have made. Yes, I made it with the choice of keeping my sanity, my health, my principles...but at the cost of losing a wonderful workplace, colleagues and students - things that are hard to find again.
Nil thinks I'm regretting the decision. It is hardly the case. It is more like leaving a more-good-than-bad thing - it is unfortunate that the good wasn't enough to keep me back.
In a way, I dread tomorrow...having to put up a brave front for the sake of my colleagues and students...having to put up with the "I miss you" without them realizing that I will miss them dearly as well.|W|P|112135044629338297|W|P|Of leaving.|W|Pemail@example.com/15/2005 12:17:00 AM|W|P|
-Devi-7/15/2005 01:53:00 AM|W|P|jagdeep|W|P|mabel,
do come and visit us sometimes okie ... the past year and half has been the best time of our lives in kdu, with movie watching and what not ... the b.a classes arent going to be the same without you ...7/15/2005 09:11:00 AM|W|P|7/15/2005 10:24:00 AM|W|P|
If it hurts so much leaving today, you know why. Passion, yours, has been bruised so much. The danger you now have is that you may not want to invest so much of your passion into anything after this. Then, my dear, what ever it is that has driven you out of KDU succeeds. Don't let that happen. Your passion needs to be nursed out of this, but its healing is not in locking it up. Let it continue to drive you!
Best of luck.7/15/2005 12:40:00 PM|W|P|fishtail|W|P|I have actually left, but they have asked me to come back as a part-timer, which is what I want.
All the best, Mabel. No, you won't regret it.7/15/2005 05:01:00 PM|W|P|rational thinker|W|P|Good Luck Mei for your next step.
It's always hard to leave a place where you have attached to..emotionally. But people move on..and so will you.
:)7/15/2005 05:56:00 PM|W|P|Cupcake Queen|W|P|No worries, Mei. Goodbyes are always hard. I cry my eyes out whenever I say goodbye to someone I won't see for a long time. Plus, you're leaving with good memories of the place.7/15/2005 10:07:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Dear all,
Many thanks for your messages! *hugs all around*7/18/2005 11:26:00 PM|W|P|Jeni|W|P|MABEL!!!!!!!!!!! *huGGZzzzzzzz* =~(7/19/2005 08:04:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|:lol: Hey!7/13/2005 10:42:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|I have decided to get hard and serious with my diet/fitness regime.
Since coming back from Australia two years ago, I have piled on nearly five kilos and countless of inches. The variety of food here is crazy as well and definitely hasn't help a bit with my previous weight-loss desires. ~_~ As such, I somehow drilled it into my head to stay longer at the gym and watch my food intake more carefully.
After watching the rain slowly trickle away, I walked to my car (I decided to park further and exercise every morning and evening by walking to my office; I take the stairs too these days) and proceeded to drive to the gym where I got into some serious action.
I got a mild surpise when I weighed myself - apparently I lost a kilo to half a kilo during my last weigh-in (could be water retention) but prior to today, my weight had never gone down even though I tried going to the gym three times a week and cutting down on food. I just managed to fail miserably then.
I suppose the weight loss this time has something to do with the fact that I've been taking the stairs more at work - all four floors - and that I am slowly cutting down on food intake during dinners. I'll be aiming to use my break (from work) to go the gym more often - like on a daily basis. That should help boost my metabolic rate and help with my weight loss thingie.
So yup, must definitely try harder! Anyway, today's statistics:
Treadmill - speed 4.5-5.0 km/h at a gradient of 12 and for about 40 minutes.
Bicycle - speed at around 77 rpm (average) at a level 2 for about 40 minutes.
Total calorie loss today stood at nearly 400 calories.
Total time spent at the gym was 1.5 hours.The food part is slowly coming together - I have sort of come to the conclusion that it would be better for me to gradually reduce my portions and cut down on the carbs a bit.
Target? 26 inch waist for me again please! ^_______^|W|P|112126668454143347|W|P|Day I at the gym|W|Pfirstname.lastname@example.org/13/2005 11:05:00 PM|W|P|spoonfork|W|P|Fitness First of Clark Hatch or ? Which branch?7/13/2005 11:08:00 PM|W|P|rational thinker|W|P|hi mei.
i wish i can be a lil like you. even since i got to nz..i think i gained about 10kg. hahaha.
btw..did u delete some of your previous entries? i can't find my own comments.
kam7/13/2005 11:20:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Spoonfork: FF at Damansara Uptown.
RT: I saved them as drafts coz they were about work and very very private stuff. :p And hi to you!7/14/2005 09:43:00 AM|W|P|Andreas|W|P|Seriously cut down on the rice intake. This helped me a LOT!7/14/2005 11:10:00 AM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Andreas: Me started on that too - no rice for dinner and half a cup for either lunch or breakfast. :) But I'm aiming to do as what I did before in Australia - twice to thrice a month of half a normal portion of rice. :p7/12/2005 12:18:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|
For the past two days, I have been busy crocheting.
My earlier post over last week mentioned something about me finishing my reports and stuff - I just have some papers to put together and that is it (the rest is done). I'll be invigilating tomorrow and on Thursday; my packing is almost done - actually I just have my drawers to clear out (CDs and important documents) and my plant, speakers and photoframe to take back - knick-knacks so to speak.
So naturally I got bored and got started on a new project - through some unfortunate error on the shopkeeper's part, I had to ditch the original pattern for my new scarf and decided to settle on something which had an ending for every row of stitching that I was going to do. After combing through some patterns, I finally settled on this gorgeous windowpane-like pattern for my scarf. The colour isn't the same - I am combining a very soft pastel blue and green-like teal to give it a demin-like look.
I must say one thing though: yarn here is BLOODY EXPENSIVE! I wish I was in Australia knitting away - the cheapest and loveliest ball of yarn I bought there costs me AUD1.79 (at RM2.9 to AUD1 at that time). Here, everything is at least in tenths of ringgits. Gack.
Anyway, it has been so long since I got back into knitting and crocheting that I'm working on two projects now. *snickers* One is just for fun and using those AUD1.79 balls of yarn and the other (look above) is for me - of course, the outcome won't look like that since the person who did it used different yarns (colour and texture plus material). I'm planning to add some fringe/tassels at the bottom to give it a more feminine look. Hopefully when Nil approves, I can get some new soft cheap yarn and do another one in that pattern - it just looks divine, doesn't it?
By the way, is it just me or is the weather going crazy? Everything seems to be brighter at work and my eyes have gone really dry these two days. Have been going to the toilet to wash my face and mostly my eyes...
I wonder what's wrong.|W|P|112114199868645619|W|P|Boredom and dry eyes at work...|W|Pemail@example.com/13/2005 03:26:00 AM|W|P|7/13/2005 11:26:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Rom: I never could knit or crochet until my last few months in Australia. It somehow calms me - very relaxing actually. ^_^7/07/2005 04:37:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|The slow and steady packing...it just finally dawned on me that I have tonnes of books and magazines at the office - squeezing them all into one box was a huge task...
The giving away of things...Basil II was sold for RM10 to one of my colleagues who lovingly cooed to him all the way to her cubicle today (perhaps this is an excuse to get a hamster or something!); one of my tiny tropical plants were given to my colleague; the angel which I got from Australia to the preggers colleague...
The goodwill messages I got...by 10am, almost everyone in the other departments (from different floors) knew of my resignation - wherever I went, I got asked "Why?" (all of them were shocked to hear of it) and when they found out, they felt sorry for me yet understood better why I was leaving.
The boredom...I had finished most of my paperwork - nothing left to do, just bidding my time away. Gack.
I am a little sad by everything but c'est la vie! On the side, I received a recommendation to go to UTAR, a call from JobsDB about a sub-editing position in Cyberjaya with a foreign MNC and an offer to work again under my former boss (in a private secondary school nearby).
The turn of events have - I must admit - been interesting.|W|P|112072600373655173|W|P|So it has begun...|W|Pfirstname.lastname@example.org/07/2005 09:52:00 PM|W|P|Kervin|W|P|Glad you achieve a piece of mind in deciding to leave, the mental abuse you describe in your previous postings is really a shock coming from a professional college. Best of luck in your future endevour whatever they may be and I'm sure you'll find something that views you as you should be. Not many are borne of the courage and resolve that you display, I'm awed.7/07/2005 10:27:00 PM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|Kervin: Thank you for the support - I was so touched by everything I heard during this turn of the events (in and outside of blogging), yet saddened that I never got such encouragement from my own boss. I hope for the best for my colleagues, just as how you hope for the best from me. *huggles*7/02/2005 07:10:00 PM|W|P|Mabel|W|P|I met up with my former professor today after two years of virtually little to no contact with him - except the occasional short emails that I sent to/receive from him. In our little (and quite long) discussion, we came to conclude that the education sector has some of the worst cases of politic-ing around.
My former uni, specially the Center where I did my studies, has undergone some huge changes - although Stephen did remind me that I was lucky to have escaped the change. I left six months before it all came crashing down. All the old AND popular AND good lecturers left, leaving only the casual staff (who happened to be quite shoddy as well) around. Stephen himself has cut himself off from the Masters programme and concentrated all his efforts into the undergraduate programme.
So why did it happen? As with everything else, it all boiled down to money - quite similar (in a way) to what was happening at my workplace. Maybe the Center director should be introduced to QB - I'm sure they'll become the best of friends.
Anyway, Stephen was really kind (and wonderful) enough to advise me about my PhD proposal. While I did realize that coming up with a proposal wasn't going to be easy, I was still quite surprised that there was much I had to learn from Stephen - someone who has been through it himself years ago actually. It was through him that I now have a better picture of things - things like methodology (whether it was going to be easy for me to obtain data), relevancy (whether it was going to be useful for society/knowledge building) and interest (whether it was going to sustain me for years).
"You sleep with your PhD. You go on holidays with it. You eat with it. Every waking minute you have, well, actually every moment of your life from the time you enrol for your PhD is filled with it. So get something that you're really raving about. BUT having said that, get something that will open up doors for you in the future - don't let your PhD be the end of your career. It, ideally, should be the beginning."
And with that, he flooded my brains with suggestions, got my brain moving with MY own suggestions - to which I ultimately settled on my topic which was still along the lines of sexuality except that it would easier to write out, obtain data for and of course, still maintain my interest. But we just didn't talk about PhDs and work - we talked about travelling, experiences during our travel trips...about the world...we even cracked jokes about it/ourselves/other people.
That's why I still keep in touch with Stephen. He never does portray himself as my professor but more like a mentor, more like a friend and it's still good to know that despite the fact that he WAS my professor - I see him more as a peer, even someone to look up to and I know for a fact that he no longers sees me as a student (now his 'former' student) but more as a friend and of course, peer. Underneath all that experience lies a man with similar interests yet unique in his own manner - he LOVES travelling and he collects textiles from different countries (the man has 50 pieces of 'cloth' in his place!). Even Nil thinks he is a very nice guy!
It was a good start to the weekend (even though there was this little incident in the morning involving QB but never mind)...now if I'm excused, I have a rugby match waiting for me.
Bon weekend!|W|P|112030360092918717|W|P|My PhD proposal.|W|Pemail@example.com/04/2005 12:30:00 AM|W|P|Servant of YHWH עבד יהוה|W|P|Are you in love with your professor ?(assuming he is single)7/04/2005 08:07:00 AM|W|P|meiteoh|W|P|No - unless of course by some strange way of reading, you see my boyfriend, Nil as my former professor. @_@
By the by, how is the book? |W|P|Thats a beautiful scarf Mei. I could never knit in a million years..There is certainly a calmness in your writing now. Kudos to ya!!! :) |W|P|In academia, especially, you need 3 attributes to make a success of it. You need a dose of knowledge of course, skill and most of all passion. On a scale of 10 I would put it to approximately 2:(2-3):(5-6) respectively. Students and you assess yourself correctly generally and so you find passion stands out. Your bosses rarely seem to even realise that it exists. |W|P|hi... i know it hurts to leave your current working place especially with all the loving messages from your student. anyway, you just have to move on if you feel that you are not happy working there. |W|P|Hey missy... i hope that you'll be happy where ever u choose to work n watever u want to do...just keep in touch wit us..don't be a stranger now okay...we your students will miss u dearly and pray for your good healt..drop by in college n see wats up once in a while k...mmmuah....love ya loads mabel.. |W|P|maybe in the meantime while you wait for a job, you can work on publishing an article. it will help your CV for your Phd application and your career as an academic. |W|P|All the best! |W|P|Good on ya mate! :) Do keep us posted on the outcome of your meeting... |W|P|Sorry....you got the JOB! |W|P|You got the jub! |W|P|Congratulations!!!!! |W|P|And yet you almost broke just a few days ago. See how fragile you can be? People like to forget that they too have their own breaking point and that they too can be fragile. Knowing and recognising and acknowledging it will make you taht much more stronger in the end. All the best in your new job! Am sure you will do well! |W|P|Old man. You are right! |W|P|Do what you love and be in a community who cares about the things you care about, who can mutually support one another. That's all that matters. |W|P|I garee with Prashanth above. Not everyone " makes it" here. For those who do there are just as many or more, who returned to their own countires who don't. As for the "rubbish filth and narrow minded people"--- we again have a lot of those as they bring these things from overseas. |W|P|Agree with what you say. I'm married and I can vouch that putting food on the table is really hard nowdays. Even though my income has grown 10 times compared with what I've started out 15 years ago, I seem to have less money to spent. My younger siblings had gone overseas for better opportunities and they might be gone for good. |W|P|Hi There, |W|P|No matter if the kids are old or young.. its less cruel for them to have separated parents who still love them than two constantly fighting parents who would cause more harm than good in the long run.